Musidoras

Musing your Way Home

2012-02-14T11:07:00.002-05:00

A Spiritual Journey
by Wendell Berry

And the world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles,
no matter how long,
but only by a spiritual journey,
a journey of one inch,
very arduous and humbling and joyful,
by which we arrive at the ground at our feet,
and learn to be at home.

*********

The words above are by Wendell Berry, one of my favorite poets. The colors and emphasis are mine ~ his work always speaks to my soul, to my spirit ~

Lately I have been ruminating on the idea of

~ Musing your way home ~

For me Musing your way home is all that W.Berry's poem encompasses ~ Spirit, Humbleness, Sacred Space, laughter, joy-full, Grounded, Creative, Comfort, Edginess, and love.

Peeling back the layers . . .

2012-02-03T09:39:00.000-05:00

I know the questions.

I have worked through the answers.

I know how to work around the blocks.

I am a Certified Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coach.

Yep.

And still I get stuck

again

and again.

I am human!

This year I wanted to recommit to "owning"

I AM A WRITER!

Ack!

My stumbling block. . . comes next,

"Oh. What do you write?"

"Um . . . Essays about ordinary life. Poems."

What do you call that non-fiction with a creative license to extrapolate and personify?

I did run in to a teacher from when I was in High School the other week, with whom

I had that exact conversation.

He smiled and said,

"Good for you. Most people only wake up long enough to protest they weren't sleeping

and then go back to sleep!"

This year I began writing my daily observations

as part of the River of Stones

and then I committed to

Patti Digh's VerbTribe

I am practicing what I know.

Answering the tough questions and digging deep.

What are my conditions for success?

As I wrote them out I realized that they were laughable.

Ridiculous.

No wonder I wasn't feeling, owning, that I was a writer.

I think anything short of being JK Rowling according to that list

would have been a failure.

I realized I needed to reevaluate and ask myself again,

What are my conditions of success?

What are my conditions of enoughness (COE) ?

The amazing Jenn Louden beautifully states four questions,

guidelines, if you will, to establish your COE.

1. Name what is enough in simple facts. What you will actually do next. Measurable. Doable.
2. Include a time element. By when, for how long, whatever.
3. Ensure they’re dependent on ONLY YOU on an AVERAGE day. Not a superhuman day.
4. Declare you are satisfied when your conditions are met—even if you don’t feel satisfied.

My Conditions of Success

Met exactly ZERO

of those.

Why?

Because it was more comfortable to put it off into the realm

of someday,

oh when I get a Mac I can do this,

oh when I go back to grad school and get a MFA

then I will be a real wrtier,

oh when I sail to the moon the stars will align . . .

You get the idea.

To own my dream,

to say this is what it will take for me to be satisfied,

for me to feel successful,

means that I have to open myself up,

and it is

ORDINARY!

Ughh!

Squirm!

Itch!

Who wants to say that their dream is to be Ordinary?

To be happy, to be satisfied,

with saying that they are satisfied with the ordinary,

with the messy, imperfect, beutifully Ish of everyday life.

I do.

I believe picking up my ordinary

could be quite extra-ordinary.

I also believe that if you pick up your ordinary

it could be quite extra-ordinary, too.

*******

So what are my Conditions of Success? of Enoughness?

for my Writing Practice,

for the next 34 Days.

To read through the VerbTribe Prompts.

Every Day for the next 34 days.

To be aware of the stories around me.

To write at least once a day for 10 minutes.

Even if it is only in my head while I am driving,

or on the back of a napkin.

To share some of my bits and bobs with the world

at least twice a week.

*******

for my Writing Practice,

beyond that.

To show up and write,

like my hair is on fire,

to stop filtering, comparing

and start writing.

To write every day for 10 minutes,

even if it is on the back of a napkin.

To share with the world at least once a week,

either on my blog,

guest blog,

or send work off to be considered for publications.

To sit down and write.

That's it.

Just to sit down and write.

It sounds so simple . . . LOL!

*******

What are your Conditions of Satisfaction? of Success?

For your writing, your artwork, your ????

I would love to hear!!

What is your verb?

2012-01-27T11:13:00.001-05:00

Verbs.
They are the actions by which we live.

What is your verb?

Pick one.
Pick two.

Fill it in.
Share it.

Post it on the mirror.
Post it on the refrigerator.

Sing it.
Shout it.
Live it.
Own it.

What is your verb?

Create.

create. create in chaos. create on the way there. create while you're waiting. create in between everything. keep creating.

Breathe.

breathe. breathe in chaos. breathe on the way there. breathe while you're waiting. breathe in between everything. keep breathing.

Write.

write in chaos. write on the way there. write while you're waiting. write in between everything. keep writing.

Love.

love in chaos. love on the way there. love while you're waiting. love in between everything. keep loving.

What is your verb?

Please leave yours in the comments or send me a message.

I am waiting to hear it.

Guarding your time . . .

2012-01-25T10:50:00.000-05:00

How many times a day do you find yourself saying, "I wish I had more time!"

And then the phone rings, it is the PTA asking me to volunteer at the bake sale.

Before I know it I hear yourself saying,

"YES."

Um, wait! What?!

Just two minutes ago, I was complaining that I didn't have time to have tea with a friend.

That I didn't have time to wash my hair.

That I didn't have time to write, to paint, to create, to travel.

You get the idea.

I didn't have time to take care of myself, to nourish my spirit.

But I have just said yes, to one more commitment outside of myself.

I think of myself as a recovering, "yes" person.

Now when someone asks me to volunteer I say, "I will have to check my calendar."

Sometimes, I slip and say yes before looking,

this never turns out well for any who are involved.

When I do remember to check my calendar,

I don't just look at the date requested but at the time around the date/time.

If it is too crazy around the time, even if that specific space is free, I will say no.

Why?

Because I need to take care of me or I will be no good to others when I do say, yes.

And overbooking myself is never, never pretty.

So as my summer months start to fill up,

Yes, they are all ready filling with all of the colors of the calendars I must coordinate,

I think I will take a minute to go and block off a week of free time for the kids and I.

I will leave you with this thought:

There are 52 weekends in the upcoming year

(we have 49 left in 2012)

What are you doing with yours?

Fighting Dragons and Souls Singing!

2012-01-18T20:15:00.003-05:00

“Hello, I am Carmen. I am a writer and a Creativity Coach. I love helping people to overcome their personal dragons to discover what makes their souls sing!”

******

Don't you love when you are writing and the words come out and YOU gasp! because you didn't know where they were headed until they just did?

Yeah, me too!

Aha - Moments . . . .

2012-01-18T10:42:00.001-05:00

I am creating a business, Musidoras. I know that I want to share my love of whimsy, magic and creativity not only in the art studio but in life. I know that I want to reach out to women and help them change, to grow, to become the women that they want to be, to overcome perfectionism, procrastination, and those nasty negativity dragons. But I haven't been able to do what marketers and writers call finding my voice, I haven't been able to identify just what it is that makes me WANT to share, makes my story. How did I get here? Where do I want to go? What do I want to say?

I am taking part in the amazing Jamie Wallace's Suddenly Branded Class on a new platform called Ruzuku. Which as an aside if you haven't yet taken an online class on Ruzuku or explored it to support your own offerings, I HIGHLY recommend the format ~ great organization of outline, community and prompts to move you through the class. (I have no affiliation with any of these other than my love for the product.)

The flip answers to the what is my story question are simple, "I need to earn some cash to feed my growing teenage boys. ANY idea how much milk we go through in a WEEK?!" "My ex-paid for the Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coaching Certification I enjoyed it, I want to create a business around it."

Today when I signed in to listen to Jamie's 20 minute talk on Your Story & Values, I admit that I almost skipped it, almost. I mean I have been through many many reiterations of this exercise in the last year and I always come back to the same place. But I decided ~ 20 minutes I can do that! (love the break down into small chunks of time within this course!) As I listened to Jamie give examples of pain, transition causing others to start a business it hit me! I mean hit me! Like my hands were shaking and I had goose bumps and I wanted to shout it from the roof tops! Hit Me! Aha-phrodite was at work!!

I wanted to DO Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coaching because I was attracted to the whimsy, to the magic to the creativity. I was going through a divorce, I was almost 40 (gasp!) and my children were no longer babies who needed my constant care, and my hormones were changing. I woke up. I realized that some where between college and here I had lost the woman that I loved right out of school. I lost the woman who loved to laugh, to create, to go into the woods and pretend to give "Welcome to your Inner Goddess Seminars" on a play microphone with her husband. I lost the woman who wore bright colors, who decorated their house with whimsy and fairy lights. I found her again through tears, soul searching, Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coaching exercises with a side of Lola England and a whole lot of excavation. BUT I found HER! I found me, with a few more wrinkles and a lot more experience! AND that, that is what I want to help other women (and men) do! I want to help them uncover their authentic voice and embrace it!!

It may not seem like much but I feel like I just went into a cave and talked with the Yogi and came out with some answers that I needed to find!

Here is to aha- moments! and Discovering YOUR VOICE!!

The rest of the story . . .

2012-01-13T14:56:00.003-05:00

This lovebird sculpture resides in a place of prominence in the neighbor's yard.

It is well lit under an arbor.

It is not "my thing" . . . but

I choose to believe that there must be some fun, loving story

behind it's being featured in their yard.

I have a Virgin Mary Sculpture in my front hall way,

she does not reside with me because of her religious significance

but because of fond memories that I have from travels decades ago.

I spent time today trolling the internet and Facebook

(yes I was wasting time)

and was troubled to see the sheer number of comments

which go something like this,

"I would never . . . "

"I will never allow my daughter . . . "

"I am appalled that . . "

"I can't believe that she would allow her husband . . . "

I get that FB and comments on the internet are much like picking

up the Party Line of old to get the "news" of the day.

I realize that I am just as guilty as anyone esle of speak/typing before thinking,

but

does it not occur to others to stop and say

I may NOT know the rest of the story?

I may NOT be coming from the same place as they are,

maybe I should stop and consider that this too could happen to me.

Remember that old adage,

"Never say never".

Maybe, their children are running around screaming because

they spent all day at the hospital with their sick grandma.

Maybe, the girl is walking around with a tattoo

because her Mamma thought it was better to encourage her self-expression

than to drive her into the arms of Bob.

Maybe, the boy who is walking with his head hung low is waiting for someone,

anyone to really hear him.

Maybe,

just maybe,

the world would be a better place

we could step out of our own shoes,

our own fears,

and

SEE

that the world is FULL

of variety,

that there is more than one side to a story.

I am not perfect,

I am not saying that there are not things that I hope and pray my children choose not to do.

BUT

I am saying that I make choices that others would not understand at first glance, and

that they make choices I do not understand at first glance

BUT

CHOOSE

Not

JUDGE

others

(I am working on not judging myself)

What choice will you make?

Gypsy Spirit

2012-01-06T08:33:00.002-05:00

Perry and Agnes Smith

I woke up this morning remembering the one real Story about Agnes that her son would tell me.
It is why Pix' middle name is Agnes,
and why I LOVE that Pa has taken to calling her Agnes.

Agnes was the wife of a Doctor in a coal mining town in West Virginia. She had one son and her family lived a ways away over a mountain or two. Her husband would be out on calls day and night. She could never be sure when he would return or if he would get called out again as soon as he did return.
Can you imagine the loneliness?
She would, according to her son,
every now and then get a notion to
throw him in the car.
Leaving a note behind for Perry that simply read,
"Gone visiting."
I asked, "How long would you be gone?"
"Sometimes days, sometimes a week. She never seemed to decide exactly where we were going until we got there."

I love that she would just go and disappear for days or a week with no certain destination in mind.
Simply, "Gone visiting"!

Just for the record, the other reason that I chose Agnes for Pix' middle name is
because no matter what the surrounding folks expression's look like,
in any of the pictures through the years of her life,
Agnes is ALWAYS smiling.

I was never lucky enough to meet Agnes
but I love her Gypsy spirit that emanates down
through pictures, stories, and my imagination.
I do believe my Pix has more than just a little of that spirit in her.

In case you don't hear much from me this weekend . . .

"Gone Visiting."

Week of Inward Looking #1 and #2

2011-12-26T21:43:00.000-05:00

This week two amazing women, Susan Piver and Patti Digh, are hosting The Week of Inward Looking. They along with 5 other "extra-ordinary" thinkers will pose questions, one a day, between Christmas and New Years to guide us in reflecting, mulling, creating, and envisioning what we want our 2012 to be.

Put down your perfectionism,

your "I can'ts" and

pick up your ordinary

and be ready to LIVE.

***************

My Thoughts on Day #1 Bendiness
(brought to you by Patti Digh)

The turning of the New Year seems to bring me, and many others judging from the sheer number of NutriSystem and Weight Watchers commercials on TV, the desire to loose weight.

But this year I have been trying to reframe it ~ to find a way to make it a "doable" life style change.
To embrace eating healthy, to be willing to try a day a week without wheat,
a day a week without sugar,
To remember how much better I feel after yoga,
to remember the power of a walk.
The clarity gained from honoring my body's need to move,
not just in my body but in my head.
To give myself permission to try small steps.
To remember that small steps make up the journey.

**************************

My Thoughts on Day #2 Living in the Light
(brought to you by Ken Robert)

What if we stopped being afraid of allowing others to see our wounds, our mistakes?
What if we started living in the light and not being afraid of our shadows?

One of the things that I realized a few days ago
when contemplating where I wanted to go with Musidoras,
with my writing in the next year was I want to be MORE authentically ME.
I want to share the lessons learned from mistakes,
memories made from flat tires,
creative roads discovered when a detour is taken,
my fascination with religions worldwide,
my belief that there is no one answer to any situation.
I want to share laughter, silliness, creativity, seriousness, conversation, smiles and tears.
I want to be more authentically ME, no matter who may see me.

*******************************

I would love to hear your reactions to the Week of Inward Looking ~ please feel free to comment on my blog or drop me an email.

Where do I want to go?

2011-12-23T10:35:00.002-05:00

I recently made some changes to my web site, Musidoras,

I started daily writing again, thanks to the River of Stones project sponsored by

Writing your Way Home
and I created a home for those moments
Talismans from Musidoras

While I still haven't clearly defined for myself

where I want to go in the next year or

where I want Musidoras to go

I do know where I don't want to go,

so hopefully that is a start.

There was a spiritual, artsy, fluffy

web-site/blog I had followed for years

(and no I won't name it or link to it).

She was lovely and always inspirational.

A few years back she hit it "rich"

she got a book or two published,

I purchased both of them,

she started doing online retreats.

Brilliant! So happy for her that her message was getting out.

I recently unsubscribed from her newsletter

Every blog post

Every newsletter

Every message coming from her

Was about what I could buy from her

to get her wisdom,

her teaching,

her learning.

I wish her well,

and I don't want her to undervalue herself

but sometimes I would like to hear a bit from her that is just her spreading the love.

Include a link in the tag line, certainly but stop beating me over the head with it!

I know that I don't want to become a blogger consumed with marketing.

Yes, I want to create some things to market.

I want to create a business that takes me places that I dream of going.

I know that along the way I need

to be ME!

I want to share stories of the ordinary,

stories of children, cats, dogs, and relationships.

I want to write poetry, short stories, and essays.

I want to share the messy side of life;

I want to be braver about sharing the disappointing stories,

as well as the miracle moments of life.

I want to share my love of laughing,

and finding the silver lining.

I want to share the joy in creating a life you can savor.

I want to find a way to spread the love to even more people.

I want to help others to create a life that is savored and LIVED.

I guess I do know what I want ~

now to go and CREATE it!

(wish me luck, please!)

Magic . . .

2011-12-19T13:15:00.001-05:00

Pix and Seam with Fr. Christmas in Uxbridge, UK

It is that time of year where we, and society along with us, weave stories of Santa, Elves, and Christmas magic. Each family, community, and country has slightly different traditions; some have St. Nicholas Day on December 6, Father Christmas, Santa Clause, Christmas Eve gifts, Christmas morning gifts . . . there are as many different traditions as there are families. But they all have one thing in common, BELIEF in HOPE and LOVE.

I craft stories and traditions for my family ~ we have Wood Elves who come and visit us periodically throughout the year and who snitch candy from the children and I. The Wood Elves have been known to bring a small token of appreciation and holiday gifts ~ last year they decorated the house for Christmas while Pix was out of the house. Christmas morning we have the magic of Santa, followed by food, playing and hanging out with family for the day. In order to BELIEVE in all of the wonders of magic that happen at Christmas we are asked to believe in what we cannot see. We, and our children, must choose to suspend our voices of reason follow our hearts and BELIEVE.

I try and listen to my heart ~ to teach my children to believe not only in what can be quantified but in what there hearts tell them is true, to teach them to suspend their need to explain and justify in order to enjoy a good story or to help others around them to enjoy a good story, and to teach them there is true JOY in spreading HOPE and LOVE with those around us. Christmas is a season of MAGIC ~ how else can you explain that so many of us can come together to spread the gifts of HOPE and LOVE?

My favourite Christmas Quotes ~

Love came down at Christmas; Love all lovely, love divine; Love was born at Christmas, Stars and Angels gave the sign. ~ Christina Rossetti

I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. ~ Charles Dickens

My favourite Christmas Story is that of "Dulce Domum" by Kenneth Graham (note that if you don't have a kindle you can download the kindle ap for free and get this book for $0, a tradition any family can afford) ~ here is a link to a reprint of the story with some commentary on why it speaks to me so by Rev. Daniel Harper ~ it is one my families Christmas Traditions to watch the story or to read it aloud to each other.

Collecting Small Stones

2011-12-12T14:43:00.000-05:00

I recently completed Fall in love with the world in 30 days (write small stones) it was a wonderful cross between a gratitude journal and being mindful. The concept of Small Stones is to write small observations of our daily lives; to be more mindful, aware and present in our own surroundings; to stop and observe, to slow down and to savour the world that is around us. In January the wonderful creators of this course Kaspalita Thompson and Fiona Robsyn will be sponsoring a River of Stones for the month of January 2012. They will be collecting stones on their webpage and are encouraging others to post and share their stones with others.

I have always collected small stones when we travel. I recently emptied a purse and found a small stone, a seashell and a piece of driftwood from a purse, Pix quickly identified that they were from our recent trip to the beach in Boston. I slipped on an old coat that I wore in Paris and discovered a horse chestnut and a pebble picked up from a grove where we had a luncheon picnic. Those small items, insignificant in so many ways brought back the taste of salt air, the sound of laughter, the taste of soft cheese and warm red wine. Memories that had been tucked away, waiting to come out in the light to be replayed, cherished, fondled and then tucked back away until needed again. Collecting small stones of writing is less physically tangible, but they are no less potent of a way for us to remember and to reconnect with the moments of living around us . . .

We do not remember days; we remember moments. ~Cesare Pavese, The Burning Brand

I have set up a blog to collect my Small Stones, Talismans from Musidoras ~ a place to collect the small stones from life and to share them with all of you and as a place to come back to for myself. I hope that you will stop by and take a look . . . please subscribe via email if you would like for them to come right to your inbox as daily glimpses of the magic of life, both sunshine and shadows.

Modern Day Muses

2011-12-06T15:07:00.001-05:00

9 Modern Day Muses
& a Bodyguard

Aha-phrodite ~ Bringing Passion to awareness, paying attention, inspiration

Albert ~ Thinking differently, breaking the rules, trying on different personas

Bea Silly ~ Play, Laughter & Dance, freedom back into the creative process

Muse Song ~ Nurturing and replacing discouraging voices with encouraging ones, self
love.

Audacity ~ Courage, uninhibited uniqueness, self-confidence & freedom to be
authentically YOU.

Spills ~ Practice, Process & Imperfection ~ Enjoy the process, not the need to
achieve perfection/production, knowing the power of practice and patience.

Lull ~ Pause, Diversion & Gratitude ~ Honoring the cycle of creativity where
letting go works best, adding the power of gratitude

Shadow ~ Gifts of the Dark Side ~ Releasing all repressed and hidden parts of
ourselves to deepen creatively, acceptance of all aspects of ourselves.

Marge ~ Okay-Now-let’s get going ~ Taking action through small steps, structures
and habits.

The Bodyguard ~ Protecting the Creative Process against intruders and nay-sayers.

Want to know more about the Muses? You can pick up a copy ofThe
Nine Modern Day Muses (and a Bodyguard) by Jill Badonsky

Savoring Life . . .

2011-11-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

The holiday season comes upon us in a rush and a tumble . . . we have only just put the Halloween decorations away, when the Christmas music begins to surround us. I am sure many of you recall making Hand Turkeys in school . . . one of my favorite family traditions is to make hand Turkeys and then to fill them up with all of the things that we have to be grateful for this year. Not only is it fun at the time to see what everyone is enjoying in life but it is an excellent snapshot back if you keep them in with the Thanksgiving decorations to reflect on from year to year . . . The year above we had spent time traveling in Europe! What fun!

My life is filled with soccer practices and games, gymnastics practice, Boy Scouts, School Work, Laundry and on and on . . . just like so many other mothers and fathers . . .it often feels like the week day dinner is on the run or the kids are finished before I even sit down.

The holidays are a time when we put as much love and care into setting a beautiful table . . .

chargers, dinner plates, salad plates, butter dishes, wine glasses, mini salt/pepper shakers, napkins and table cloths,
oh my!

I LOVE it!
Making the table beautiful heightens the excitement
to sit down together
to laugh together
to linger over our gratitude lists
to share stories of Christmas' gone by
and to begin to speculate on what the New Year may bring.

How do you bring gratitude and sharing to your family gatherings through out the year?

Your Creative Passion is your spirit’s voice
singing its gifts to the world!

**********************************

Carmen Taggart is a certified Kaizen Muse Creativity Coach
~ Creativity through laughter, breaking rules and making mistakes to savour
life!

Soul Care For the Holidays

2011-11-09T16:58:00.000-05:00

Soul Care For the Holidays
Mini-Retreat

Saturday, December 3rd
1 to 5 pm

Aaronsburg, PA
$50

Take time out to slow down and savour the holidays, join me in my home decorated for the holidays. We will be laughing, relaxing and recharging while we play with:

Meditation, Guided Imagery, Art Supplies, and creating ways to define for ourselves what is "enough" for this holiday season and as we welcome in the New Year.

All Art Supplies, Cookies, Hot Tea and Coco will be provided.

Contact Carmen to Register ~ musidoras@gmail.com or call 814.404.6755
Payments ~ cash or PayPal

Europe vs. America

2011-11-09T15:44:00.000-05:00

In September of 2008 we went to Paris and in a small park across from Notre Dame Cathedral we had our lunch beneath trees . . . As we walked the park and read the signs we saw that this one, robinier planted in 1603. The tree was the one with the concrete abutments and the supports to help it remain upright, a Black Locust.

The Parisians attend to this venerable ancestor with pride and delight, monitoring her health, removing vines that could harm her, protecting the ground around her so that she may breathe easier . . . .

The value and strive to maintain and use that which is older, that which already exists.

Yesterday on a walk around Aaronsburg I saw more trees in the neighborhood being cut down. It seems this Fall that there is another tree being taken down every other day ~ maples, pines, bittersweet trees ~ mature, graceful trees that have been here for decades, centuries even.

Look at the girth of that beauty? How old must she have been? How long had she stood there providing shelter and clean air for the neighborhood? Why is it that here, in the US, we seem so quick to cut anything down that is old, to replace buildings instead of remodeling the ones that exist to better suit our needs?

I am proud to be an American, and thankful of the freedoms that we have ~ sometimes, just sometimes I wish that our culture put more of an importance on preserving, protecting and valuing what already exists around us instead of how NEW it was.

Walk with You

2011-10-28T15:38:00.000-04:00

I walked this path alone, a hundred times.

My eyes saw crumbled stones in the faintest ring,
pieces of wood decaying on a hillside.
Oaks and Hemlocks standing guard along the trail.
My ears heard leaves crunching, stones slipping under foot,
birds flying overhead, water rushing nearby.
My heart sang at the joy of walking, of being in nature.

I walked this path with you, just once.

My eyes saw their fire licking the tree tops, fancy head dresses,
shells and beaded moccasins dancing in the moonlight.
Oaks, Hemlocks and Ancestors beckoning us in to the circle.
My ears heard their drums, feet pounding the earth,
chanting filling the air and my soul, laughter tinkling across the hills.
My heart sang at the joy of seeing beyond the veil of time and space.

I walked this path alone, a hundred times more,
with new eyes, new ears and an open heart.

Plans we cannot see . . .

2011-10-09T09:48:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was one of those days . . . you know those days where you have a plan and then there was another plan . . . a plan you couldn't see until it was all done, and maybe a few hours went past, or a few days, or months, or even years . . . and then suddenly there is that aha moment!

Yesterday was a day I had plans . . . lots of different plans . . . . some of them worked out brilliantly! and some of them did not. . . this morning in the dawn of a breathtakingly gorgeous fall day I choose to see the positive even in the plans that went awry, and will invariable go awry today!

Yesterday, I planned to can up appley-goodness (applesauce) to serve in the midst of this winter . . . and I did, it turned out yummy and pink (the kids love it when it turns pink!) . . . 24 jars now line my shelves waiting for the winds to be howling so that we can crack open a slice of summer to savor.

Yesterday, I planned to go to the state store and buy some wine . . . I have a California red that I love and they were out of Patron . . . they were sold out (apparently lots of other people love it too!) But now I have a California white to try and an Australian Red . . . maybe one of these will be my new favorite wine!

And the day goes on full of connections and missed connections . . . . plans and plans gone awry. . . . ups and downs. . . it was easy to fall into the shadowy darkness of "ugh why does nothing ever work out?" and "the state store hates me" or whatever crazy story the Dragons wanted to convince me of in that moment . . . and I DID for a bit but then I was able to stop myself and say now wait a minute . . .is this REALLY the story of the day, is this REALLY real? Are you SURE that the Dragons aren't just making this all bigger and worse than it really needs to be? REALLY? And you know what? THEY were! Crazy Dragons! I wish they would go and find a new home!!

Many times recently I have been able to recognize the positives that have come from events in my life that did not go according to plan, in fact went horribly and terribly wrong, or so I believed in the moment. We are only able to connect those stars in hind-sight so I believe we must breathe through the moments and choose to look for grace as we move forward into new moments.

Unleash your Creative Brilliance

2011-10-05T08:42:00.000-04:00

Musidoras is excited to be partnering with
Brushstrokes Gallery, Art Supplies, & Framing of Lewisburg, PA

to offer "Creatin' with the Muses" Workshops

Creatin’ with the Muses ~ Unleash your Creative Brilliance

Move through your blocks with the help of the modern-day Muses and Carmen from Musidoras.

We will be playing with fun art supplies ~

water colors, acrylic paints, pearlescent inks, pastels, fine ink pens, MuseDoodles and so much more ~

while we chat with the muses

about procrastination, perfectionism, and overwhelm.

No matter what your creative project we will have something for you.

Remember Creativity has no ceiling;

life just continues to unfold in what seems like magic,

desirability and ease as we discover

how creativity empowers all our higher qualities.

Carmen is a Certified Kaizen-Muse Coach and Group Facilitator, you can find out more about her and her services at www.Musidoras.com

Create a Muse Journal

2011-09-19T15:58:00.000-04:00

Musidoras is excited to be partnering with

Brushstrokes Gallery, Art Supplies, & Framing of Lewisburg, PA

to offer

Creatin' with the Muses Workshop:
Comfort Journal

Upcoming Date:

Saturday October 22 at 1 pm
$10 fee to cover supplies

call 570-523-7911 to register or Contact Carmen

Creatin’ with the Muses ~ Comfort Journal

A Comfort Journal can come in all shapes and sizes ~

A small dime store notebook, an elegant leather-bound journal, a collection on the computer.

There are no mistakes, no rules, no rights, no wrongs when it comes to creating your own personal Comfort Journal.

We will play with ideas of ways to create a sacred space for you to come back to when you are feeling as if your Muses have gone off on vacation.

A place that you can turn to, to find inspiration, solace, joy, or to discover your path through your current emotions.

We will be playing with fun art supplies ~ papers, inks, watercolors.

We will do some journaling exercises to get your juices flowing.

We will be sharing quotes, so please feel free to bring a favourite to share (or not as the Muse strikes you!)

We will be sharing methods and techniques offline and online that have worked for us.

Come dressed to play! laugh! and have some fun!

Remember Creativity has no ceiling;

Life continues to unfold in ways that seem like

magic, synchronicity, and coincidence

as we discover how

creativity empowers all our higher qualities.

More on Choices from Greece . . .

2011-07-20T08:12:00.000-04:00

My friend Paula Swenson lives what can best be described as a gypsy life, that oh so many of us are turning green with envy over, especially now as she posts a picture a day from the beautiful Greek Isle of Páros . . . .

[caption id="attachment_1650" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Paroikia ~ Picture from Steve Kramer/Paula Swenson"][/caption]

Paula reminds us of the CHOICES she and her husband have made in order to be able to live and travel the way that they do at her Blog Creative Compass ~ Remembering Why we do what we do!

Choices

2011-07-19T20:18:00.000-04:00

I routinely hear that I am "so lucky" that I get to home school my children, I am "so lucky" that I have such well-behaved children, I am "so lucky" that I get to live in the middle of the beautiful mountains of Pennsylvania, with my family close by to support, love and assist me when I need it. I whole-heartedly agree that I am very fortunate to lead such an amazing and wonderful life full of wonderful friends and family, all of which I am truly grateful for.

So often we forget those things that we see as others being "lucky" are the result of choices, sacrifices that they have made in order to be able to home school their children, to live in a beautiful country, to live in a city, to do whatever it is that we dream of doing, living, being. I CHOOSE to accept that it is going to take me 30 minutes to get to a town that is more than a small village, that I need to remember to get gas BEFORE I leave Penns Valley because there won't be another gas station for at least 20 miles, if not further. I CHOSE 16 years ago to give up my lucrative career in Chemistry because I wanted to have children AND stay home with them. I CHOSE to move back to the area I was raised in to be close to friends and family. I CHOOSE to try to live life to my fullest potential and in ways that bring me joy and happiness, even when those ways don't match the "shoulds" of those around me.

Each and every day we make 100's of decisions. What are the true costs are of those choices ~ What will the impact on our relationships be, will it make them stronger or will it harm them? ~ What are the health costs ~ will it make me healthier, happier, saner? ~ Does it energize me? ~ Does it enrich my life ~ will people look at it and say "Yes, she truly lived."?

Do I always remember to stop and ask myself these questions or to stop and think through my choices? No, of course not but each day I try again, each day I ask myself what can I be doing better, each day I think to myself what can I do today to live well. I stumble, I fall, I pick my self-up, I laugh, I learn and I keep trying.

Silence

2011-06-24T17:32:00.000-04:00

Motorcycles,
Cars,
Telephones,
Dishwashers,
Televisions,
Talking heads
Car doors
Alarms

I can’t hear myself think

Summer’s heat intensifies
Open windows draw the noises in
My sanctuary invaded
Lying in bed at night
Stifled by heat and cacophony

Cool of the mountain beckons
the promise of silence

I walk into the woods
My soul breathes out
Deep sigh of release

I can hear my heartbeat
I can hear my voice
I can hear my thoughts
I can hear my breath

Even here it is not silent
Birds
Chipmunks
Coyotes
Turkeys
Squirrels
Trees

I can breathe.

Days are long, Life is Short

2011-06-08T07:53:00.000-04:00

Hurry

Grass needs mowing

Weeds need tending

Bills paid.

Slow down

Kids are growing

Love is fleeting

Fireflies won't stay.

Hurry

Chores are calling

Phone is ringing

Crops harvested.

Slow down

Roses falling

Laughter surrounding

Taste of your lips

Time

waits for no one

A fickle mistress

Hurry,

Slow down,

Slow down . . .

15 minutes to Live

2011-06-01T09:53:00.000-04:00

Seth Godin's Domino Project is sponsoring #Trust 30, an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought leaders will guide you on your writing journey.

******* Day 1 ~ 15 minutes to live

I loved Patti Digh's post on 15 minutes to live ~ it is very much how I feel about life. We need to live life as if every day was our last.

Two of my favourite movie quotes ~ One from Auntie Mame:

Auntie Mame: Oh, Agnes! Here you've been taking my dictations for weeks and you haven't gotten the message of my book: live!
Agnes Gooch: Live?
Auntie Mame: Yes! Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!

And the other from Secondhand Lions:

Sheik's Great Grandson: So, these two men from your grandfather's stories, they really lived?
Adult Walter: [wistfully] Yeah, they really lived...

*********Day 2 ~ 1 sentence

Today's Sentence ~ Remember we only have today. Breathe it. Live it. Savour it. Relish it. Love it.

Mary Oliver and Shadows

2011-05-19T23:37:00.000-04:00

In My House
by Mary Oliver

In my house lives the most beautiful wild animal.
Bus she is sad.
She has lost her forest.
She has lost her tribe.
Her very language is almost gone, dissolved
in sorrow and disuse.
What can you do to comfort such a creature?
She stares out of the windows and longs to go somewhere ----
but where?
The nothingness of the days exhausts her.
Have you ever seen an animal weep?
When I touch her she looks at me with that
lost world in her eyes ---
hopeful, but trembling.

(featured along with three other new poems by Mary Oliver in the Summer Edition of Parabola)

I know, I know you aren't supposed to talk about the sadness that we feel or the fact that our lives aren't perfect BUT you know what mine isn't perfect, no matter how much I sometimes wish it were. I am sure you are surprised but alas it is true. I make mistakes, I stumble, I fall, I pick myself back up again, I find the humour and I try to learn along the way.

Some days that is easier than others ~ some days the birds of sadness come home to roost and I just can't keep them from working on the nest that is in the top left side of my hair doo; yep that is what that is, Krissy, my amazing hair-dresser, does a great job hiding it underneath the fun colors that bedeck my head but I can no longer conceal the fact that it is indeed a nest of sadness.

(I loved the quote from Walk Two Moons ~ what a brilliant description ~ "You can't keep the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can keep them from nesting in your hair.")

But the Sadness, the Shadow Muse, is not all bad ~ some of my best poetry and story lines have come from moments when I thought my heart would split in two if I didn't release the pain out into the world because it was just to big for me to hold alone.

When I find the sadness circling overhead or lurking in a corner I don't ask him to move in but I will have him to tea so that I can see what lessons he may hold for me, what pain I need to release in to arms bigger than mine. I release the sadness, the shadow muse, in writing pages of pain and sorrow ~ ramblings not fit for man nor beast and by hiking trying to clear my thoughts as the tears stream down my face. Then when the birds take flight and leave me in a place of hope, when I look back at the pain filled thoughts and ramblings ~ I can see a poem, a glimmer, a tear that others might relate to, that others might feel a little less alone IF only I can admit that my life is a bed of roses, thorns and all!

I write, I hike, I cry, I laugh, I fall, I get back up again, I keep hoping for a day that is more laughter than tears AND I am not afraid to admit that some days the Birds of Sadness come for a visit.

Kaizen-Muse Bodyguard

2011-05-18T15:47:00.000-04:00

When I tell people I am a Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coach they often say, "Wow that sounds fun. What does it mean?" What it means is that I will work with you to discover how we can help you to find creative solutions to any endeavor that you would like to undertake whether it is how to get back to your writing after taking years off to raise children or how to organize the desk so that you can begin to think about who it was before you got lost in a pile of post it notes and old envelopes. No matter what the project turns out to be our goal is always the same to help you to savour life day by day, moment by moment.

[caption id="attachment_1519" align="alignleft" width="150" caption="Lola "][/caption]

For me it starts with creating a Bodyguard Muse ~ someone to ward off the nay-sayers, the ne'er-do-well types ~ whether those voices come from the outside or although I shutter to admit it mine all too often come from the inside. A Bodyguard Muse ~ needs a name, a name that feels fearless, brave, wise, audacious, and all around BODACIOUS. My Bodyguard is Lola, I found her through writing under her as my nom de plume for years, by doodling her image, by imagining her in her Super Hero Cape swooping in to my rescue and telling me to "BE BRAVE." Lola has come to my rescue more times than I can count ~ as a matter of fact when I grow up I would LOVE to BE LOLA!!

Our passion, our desire to create comes from an internal source, an internal energy, a creative source that we are inexplicably connected to ~ when we remember that and replace our fear and frustrations with excitement, hope, and determination we create beyond our own wildest dreams.

Great Spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. ~ Albert Einstein

As an Activity to help you get closer to your bodyguard try out the Jewels of Delight:

Gather together paper and some colored pens, pencils, paints, markers, crayons ~ whatever makes you feel safe and happy to be playing with in your journal. Then set a timer for 3 minutes and while imagining who YOUR Bodyguard is doodle words, images, phrases that come to you that make you feel protected, safe, and inspired. What colors do you want to use, what shapes do you see, what do you smell, what words come to mind? There are no wrong answers just continue working at least until the timer goes off (or longer if the Muses are SINGING!) and see where it takes you.

I would love to hear about your Muse Bodyguards and how you fend off the inner and out ne'er-do-well voices ~ give a shout!

Cheers! Carmen

Creatin' with the Muses

2011-04-18T12:19:00.000-04:00

Creatin’ with the Muses ~ Unleash your Creative Brilliance

Saturday May 21st at 11 am

at Brushstrokes Gallery, Art Supplies, & Framing

in Lewisburg, PA

Move through your blocks with the help of the modern-day Muses and Carmen from Musidoras. We will be playing with water colors and citrasolv while we chat with the muses to find ways around procrastination, perfectionism, and overwhelm no matter what your creative project.

Remember Creativity has no ceiling; life just continues to unfold in what seems like magic, desirability and ease as we discover how creativity empowers all our higher qualities.

Carmen is a Certified Kaizen-Muse Coach and Group Facilitator, you can find out more about her and her services at www.Musidoras.com

Life's Synchronicities

2011-04-11T18:16:00.000-04:00

For the past several months I have been trying to decide what direction do I want to take with Musidoras ~ do I want to be more New Age, more middle of the road, what is it that makes my heart say YES! That is what I want to do!? Through conversations with Creativity Coaches, friends, loved ones the theme that I wanted to get back to more where I had been spiritually, creatively 20 years ago was where I wanted to be.

Then this weekend, a friend of mine asked about pagan traditions, earth spirituality, tarot cards, crystals, and energy colors . . . My mind creaked, groaned, and squealed as the rusted gears started turning ~ these were all things that I knew, loved, and cherished years ago (take note that would be about 20 years ago) but that somewhere along the way had fallen to the wayside. The more we talked, the more interested they were, the more excited I became about the power that surrounds us through the ephemera of life. Today, I refreshed my Medicine Bag ~ added symbols to represent where I am now, things that are important to me and where I want to go, and kept bits of the old. I also created a medicine bag for my friend, as a thank you gift for unintentionally helping me to get where I had been trying to go!

My friend and I also realized while telling stories to one another, that in addition to being neighbors 3 doors down, that we had also been at the same Garth Brooks concert at the Grange Fair, where their tent is only 3 rows away . . . . and YET we had never met until 3 years ago. The timing of friendships is amazing ~ how often do we bump into those that will one day be important in our lives but we aren't yet ready to have them in it?

I also had someone tell me that my Aura was blue this weekend . . . upon reading up on what that means, it suited . . . and then I began to see all of the places that blue has appeared in my life lately without intentionality in my life . . . I can only wonder if that means I am becoming more comfortable with who I am.

Lola looks in . . .

2011-04-09T17:27:00.000-04:00

Richard, known to all his friends simply as Junior, had told Lola that she craved attention. How dare he! Was she not the woman that enjoyed her quiet time? Did she not enjoy curling up with a good book or a solitary walk through the mountains? She refused to believe that he was correct. I hate it when he’s right. The nerve of that man to tell her she craved attention! Junior could see through her veils all too well. It was both completely unsettling and incredibly refreshing.

Lola recognized the same patterns for the need of attention/solitude in her children's behavior. The children were comfortable leaving Lola to go and stay at Mimi’s house, or an outing with friends without so much as a second glance back at her. This was not because they did not love Lola but because they were secure in the knowledge that she would always be there for them. The comfort of knowing that they are loved unconditionally made it easy for them to come and go from their sheltered world to that of the outside world; they know that they always have Lola's arms to run back into.

However, without that sense of unconditional love, Lola could see that they would begin to seek attention, and confirmation from outside sources. The lack of unconditional love in her life made the silence of friends, distances in both time and space, and the insecurities of life grow stronger and to take her into the darkness. The darkness would settle across her soul and spirit but she didn’t feel she could share the fears and insecurities with anyone in her life. And yes, tears and darkness are undoubtedly a weakness. Lola's past relationships had taught her that showing her insecurities and longings to others would only leave her more susceptible and vulnerable to the pain felt through desires and expectations not met. And that it was best to mask them behind veils . . .

Lola had learned that keeping the insecurities and the desires at bay through laughter and humor are the safest bets for her heart. But every now and then someone comes along who can see through the characters she has created for the world to see and she lets them in to her life - why? Because even though every time it has ended in darkness she still hopes and prays for the day when she will find someone whose arms she can rest in with her heart exposed. Lola believes that once you've had unconditional love you continue to search for it and to believe that you can find it again.

The real question was should Lola tell Junior that he was right? No, she decided, it was best not to give him that much power. At least for now she would keep this her secret.

One Word

2011-03-29T18:12:00.000-04:00

One word, he described me with one word?

Really, just one!
What is it?
Is it persistent?
Is it crazy?
Is it complicated?
No, none of those?

Really?!
Come on, what could it be?
What could it be?

I look in your eyes to divine the word.
Certain I can read it if I stop to look closely.
Surprised.
All curiosity drains away.
I see that I don’t need to know.
No, I don’t want to know.

I see that what I want to know is your word.
I want the word you would use for me.
I find it waiting on your lips,
a gift as you kiss me.

Auras at the Bar

2011-03-16T11:50:00.000-04:00

"They were neither brother and sister nor lovers. But there area other ties, numinous ones, and of these they were aware."
~Embers, Sandor Marai

We are neither brother and sister
nor lover,
Of numinous bonds we are aware,
Yet we deny their power.

The bartender read our auras,
He's orange
She's violet
Together you're silver.

You lean in for a kiss,
Your tongue dances across mine,
Your fingers linger
Cascades of colour shoot around the room.

He mutters,
I love you.
I reply,
I had no idea.

Lizard Breath vs. Flo

2011-03-11T16:21:00.000-05:00

1.
i got caught in your web again
you make such beautiful designs that i can’t help myself
i want to inspect and revel in them
they are filled with stirring images, emotive sketches,
words that sound like compassion and concern
sometimes i even manage to walk away from a web
without getting caught up in its dew covered strands
invariably a string of dew covered pearls will glisten
my lizard brain just can’t leave them alone it wants to lick them up

2.
you know how it is,
one minute your sitting there sipping a nice pinot noir
watching the people walk by the cafe on the streets of Paris
when you realize that your lizard brain (we lovingly refer to it as Lizard Breath)
is saying some crazy whacked out shit
like maybe you are inconveniencing your lover by asking him to come to Paris
your awake side (we lovingly refer to her as Florence, or Flo for short)
jumps up laughing and shouting,
what the Fuck are you kidding me?!

3.
come with me Lizard Breath
we are off to the cleaners to get rid of your sticky fingerprints,
again.

Dancing in the Moonlight

2011-03-05T21:22:00.000-05:00

We dance toward possibility,

Breath of longing upon my cheek

Souls yearning to be free,

Our spirits flying into the night

Moonlight dancing through the trees,

Laughter upon the moon beams

Dawns red rays

Confine our souls with earthly ties

We dance toward possibility

Tears of longing upon my cheek

Lace Curtains on Patrol

2011-03-02T16:35:00.000-05:00

Bats swoop low across the square as dusk settles on the village
Porch swings creak, murmurs of parents conversing while children are sleeping
Birds sing their good night songs as the last of the day fades into darkness
General Cats stretch and arch their backs from a long days rest as they come out to patrol
The day shifts from tasks of mundane and earthly endeavors
To mystical, magical, and clandestine

Back stairs creak as teen-age lovers sneak to keep their meetings clandestine
Old-Ladies peak behind lace curtains collecting fodder for the morning meet-up in the village
Thwarting all but the most ingenious endeavors
Long after curfew bells have rung, back steps creak, tiptoeing over dogs that are sleeping
General Cats come back with their prey after a successful nights patrol
The dawns first rays cut across the village green dispelling the darkness

Lovers settle into their beds as the last of the nights shadows linger in the darkness
Believing that they have kept their meetings clandestine
Old-Ladies put on their coffee pots as they prepare for the day time patrol
They come together to share the news of the village
They whisper, harp, and gossip of all that went on while the others lay sleeping
They shred the hopes for secrecy of others in their endeavors

But don’t be too quick to judge them for there is no malice in their endeavors
They cannot sleep in the darkness
They walk through the memories of youth as the village lay sleeping
Remembering kisses stolen and hearts rendered in youthful meetings of clandestine
nature, The youth believe that the old-ladies forget and are the meddlers of the village
But in truth they are grateful that the youth remind them of their own memories to patrol

They watch and remember as they peak from behind lace curtains while on patrol
Their aching legs deny their yearning to go on their own secret endeavors
They have long stopped caring what other ladies say in the village
If only they too could slip into the darkness
A kiss, an embrace to sustain them until their next clandestine
meeting, Only the babies and the parents are sleeping

Exhausted from growing and chasing after the day they welcome the peace of sleeping
They rely on the old ladies and the General Cats to keep patrol
They remember wanting to keep their youthful romances clandestine
And are thankful now that someone is watching over their teen-agers endeavors
As they hear the back steps creak in the darkness
As the ladies peak from behind their lace curtains around the village

Memories of long ago clandestine kisses while parents were home sleeping
As the lace curtains in the village rustled as the old ladies kept patrol
Thwarting all but the most ingenious endeavors to keep secrets in the darkness

**************************

As an aside this poem was my first attempt at a sestina ~ I created it by choosing 6 words, that are then the last word of each line in the first stanza ~ my words were village, sleeping, darkness, patrol, endeavors, and clandestine ~ those words then must repeat throughout the poem as ending words at the end of lines in a different order for 6 stanzas . . . the web link gives a more detailed description. It was a fun exercise because it defined the path of the story yet at the same time opened up possibilities I would not have found without the imposed structure.

Three little turtles . . .

2011-02-24T12:11:00.000-05:00

three little turtles
swimming in the sea
growing up and going far
but never far from Mama's knee

each paddles its own path
their strength comes from the core
they blaze trails in their adventures
but never forget to touch the shore

their love is tattooed in their Mama's heart,
but there are no apron strings
for these are no ordinary turtles
~ they were given wings...

by Cyndy Engle

Chubby Little Angel . . .

2011-02-16T10:22:00.000-05:00

A new piece I wrote called "Chubby Little Angel" is up today at a cool little lit mag called Dead Snakes . . . Grab a drink and stop over for a look.

Chubby Little Angel

Spring . . .

2011-02-15T15:36:00.000-05:00

Kew Gardens, UK

The ice and snow are still thick upon the ground but my mind has begun to turn to the rich, deep sensations of Spring . . . the softness of fresh grass under foot as soon as the grass is green even though it is really too cold out yet to be without shoes . . . the feel of fat earthworms wiggling through my fingers as Pix squeals with delight to have uncovered another one . . . . the smell of the dirt as it is turned and refreshed . . . the multitude of greens that abound and surprise the eye. We have a brief respite from the strangle hold of Winter this week . . . and the seed catalogs, and gardening books are covering the dining room table. We are fortunate to be able to have fruits and veg from around the world at our local supermarket but Seamus knows local is better . . . he said he had a chocolate covered strawberry at Mimi's house this weekend that "tasted like it was FRESH PICKED from the Amish, how did they do that, mama?"

Now to decide what new treats to plant for next summer . . . I think we will have the kids each pick something . . . last year it was sugar peas! yummm!!

Lizard Breath

2011-02-11T08:44:00.000-05:00

i got caught in your web again
you make such beautiful designs that i can’t help myself
i want to inspect and revel in them
they are filled with stirring images, emotive designs,
words that sound like compassion and concern
sometimes i even manage to walk away from a web
without getting caught up in its dew covered strands
sometimes though a string of dew covered pearls will glisten
my lizard brain just can’t leave them alone it wants to lick them up
you know how it is, one minute your sitting there sipping a nice pinot noir
watching the people walk by the cafe on the streets of Paris
when you realize that your lizard brain (we lovingly refer to it as Lizard Breath) is saying some crazy whacked out shit
like maybe you are inconveniencing your lover by asking him to come to Paris
Your awake side (we lovingly refer to her as Florence, or Flo for short) jumps up laughing and shouting, what the Fuck are you kidding me?! Come with me Lizard Breath and we are off to the cleaners to get rid of your sticky fingerprints,
again.

More than one way to crack an egg . . .

2011-01-23T23:21:00.000-05:00

The lessons I learn from my children are innumerable but the one that I am most thankful for today is the lesson that my way is not the only way. When the kids were little I would dress them to match the temperature in the way I felt it but then I realized that they felt the world differently than I do ~ they got colder quicker than I did, they were crawling on their knees and needed a little extra cushioning. I would play with them by reading and drawing, Mike would play trains and build blocks; they loved ALL of it. I would have rules for when they interacted with me, but then they would go to their Grandpa’s and he would let them use hammers, nails, and *gasp* knives! Scared me senseless but you know what they love it, and they are safe, despite my fears. The lists of differences goes on and on but the truth is that our children are made more beautiful and unique by their varied experiences, EVEN the ones that are outside of our own comfort zone.

WE are made more beautiful and unique by our varied experiences, breathe, trust, and know that there are many ways to express love and that in a village of people raising your children there is bound to be more than one way to crack an egg.

Inspiration sneaks in . . .

2011-01-21T15:50:00.000-05:00

You never know where inspiration will come from . . .

While on the phone I doodled the above image,
The squiggles on the right
turned into a super hero fairy
off to find some mischief
and spread her light in the world.

Then the next day, while visiting another blog,
Dreaming in Orange
She talked about her higher self, Artemis . . .
"I visit her often,
especially when I need to access that part of myself
that knows how to strip away the unnecessary from the truth,
or when I am trying to make a difficult decision."
Anne is going to have Artemis create a postcard each week to visit with her "wise woman".

I realized that I missed Lola.
Lola was my nom de plume when I first starting writing.
Lola is my higher self, my alter ego.
She helps me to let loose and play,
to enjoy the process,
to give myself distance from an issue,
to allow me to see issues more clearly.

I will still write under my own name,
own what I create,
but I will also honor that part of me that is my inner Muse,
Lola.

Welcome back, Lola . . .

Soul of a Witch

2011-01-19T20:31:00.000-05:00

The picture is Nancy Farmer's ~ Soul of a Witch

Soul of a Witch

Your hand brushes my hip
Sultry summer breeze kisses my skin
As we drift into slumber
I shudder
My breath catches
My soul, a Luna Moth
Flutters across the void
Through the night air
Searching, seeking
Lovers, Friends, Enemies
Knowledge sent back as dreams
While I slumber safe in your embrace
Dawn breaks
My soul returns
As your fingers send shivers through me

The Devil, A Long Spoon, and a Serious Error in Judgement

2011-01-18T12:32:00.000-05:00

The Devil, A Long Spoon, and a Serious Error in Judgement

~Carmen Taggart

She said come dine with me,
I hold the answers to a more vibrant life.
She was rockin’ the red dress and the stiletto heels,
so who could resist?

We discussed a contract over tea and cakes, and
I didn’t need my really long spoon,
for whispered promises, unslakable desire,
Our entwined bodies reflecting in the window glass,
Her reflection craggy, wrinkled, and withered;
darkness no longer had a youthful face.

She turned as red as her dress, heels stomping, you can’t walk away from me!
Oh, but I can, I said, you have no power.
Yes, I do!! You need me! I am a celebutant! I hold the answers! Only me!
I laughed as I walked away.

Poetsdemocracy

2011-01-14T19:12:00.000-05:00

One of my pieces . . .
Gossamer Threads
with a little re-writing of the end, to lend itself closer to the "brass ring of truth",
Thanks to the nudging of the editors at poetsdemocracy . . .

. . . has found a home at a wonderful new home for music, art, and literature . . .

the poetsdemocracy. . .
stop by to check out the re-writes and the other amazing artists work that is there, including a local friend's work, Rebecca Gaffron.

Gossamer Threads

Shifting Ground

2011-01-03T15:58:00.000-05:00

The moonlight streamed through the branches casting an eerie light on Layla’s skin, she caught a glimpse of her own hand out of the corner of her eye and jumped at the unearthly shimmer. With each step she took she was moving farther away from Jack, she needed to run but the ground seemed to shift with every step she took. These woods had once been her home, she had known every inch of them but now as the tears streamed down her face it was as if she had entered into a foreign land. Jack’s words had stripped away the pretenses that held all of the pieces of her world in orbit, he wasn't supposed to be in love with her. Blindly Layla stumbled forward looking for a touchstone to bring her back to center, to remind her where she needed to go.

2011 New Year's Resolutions

2010-12-29T11:11:00.000-05:00

My resolutions for the new year ~

To laugh with abandon,
to love without fear of loss or rejection,
to hug more,
to embrace adventure,
to respond not react to adversity,
to live life with with bodacious joy and enthusiasm!

Baloo

2010-12-20T15:10:00.000-05:00

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth you are weeping
for that which has been your delight.
~Kahlil Gibran

Saying Good-bye to a loved one is never easy
~ it was made easier today by the hearts and arms of loved ones.

Thank you, I love you all.

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

2010-12-19T20:34:00.000-05:00

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Gossamer Threads

2010-12-16T23:59:00.000-05:00

Disappointment, and frustration erupt,
Words as sharp as the knives you so carefully tend sever the ties that bind,
Neither of us knowing how to fix them or even if they should be fixed,
You simply drive away.

I can't see your smile to know that you are still mine,
The voices in my head tell me that you are moving on,
The phone a poor substitute for the feel of your embrace,
A tentative thread binds us still.

I want to be in your arms,
Your hands cupping my face,
Eyes locked as I tell you that I love you,
That you will always own a piece of my soul.

I settle for phone calls and laughter,
Weaving a net of gossamer threads,
Our spirits dancing across the divide,
Forever entwined.

Unspoken Beauty

2010-12-13T14:19:00.000-05:00

The secret so painfully true that even as she uttered it to herself
She could feel her foundations quake
Uttered, shouted, spoken, and owned the world crumbles
Yet her heart raced with giddy excitement
The boundaries undone the world still turned

Mosaic tiles caught her eye
Her heart as delighted as a school girl with a new set of paints
Crafting and placing each piece
Finding the unbound, unspoken beauty in a world turned all akimbo
The secret finds a new home

Be Brave

2010-12-10T14:12:00.000-05:00

Snow gently cloaks the world in its white splendor
A hush falls across the valley floor
The pines shushed by their newly donned coats

Children rush out seeing a new world to discover
The crash through the fields
Squeals of laughter and delight as they fly down the hills

“Be Brave” he calls to his sister
She sits hesitating at the brink of the hill
“I don’t know, it is a pretty big leap”

“Be Brave!”
“Be Brave!”
She spins, laughs and twirls

Delight fills her and all that hear the mixed calls
Let’s do it again!
Be Brave!
Yes!

An evening of magic . . .

2010-11-27T22:11:00.000-05:00

I am thankful for the gifts that life grants me when I take the time, the effort to step outside of what might be considered to be the norm, the easy, the socially acceptable easy response. I love the gifts life presents us when we take time to "listen with the ear of our heart."

One of my fondest examples happened years ago when I was on a Benedictine Way Retreat at the College of the Washington National Cathedral. The Benedictine Way, is one that teaches the importance of Balance in your Rule of Life in all things . . . work, study, and worship . . . there was time built into our day for worship/study in the morning, work in the afternoon, and in the evening we were to spend time in the Cathedral after dark when it was closed to the public.

As I sat enjoying our "silent" lunch there was a buzz that rippled through the group the then Bishop of Jerusalem, Bishop Riah Abu El-Assal, was here! Many of the members rushed forth practically tripping over one another to get him to sit with them and talk to them. I have never been much for being star struck just because someone "is" someone so I went about my lunch not giving him much thought one way or the other, and then after lunch I proceeded to go and do the work that I had been assigned to on the computers outside of the Retreat Coordinator's, Teresa's, office

As I was sitting typing away Teresa came down and asked me if I would mind waiting in her office with the Bishop because she needed to go to a meeting and they were waiting on a call from the airlines about the Bishop's lost luggage. Off I went on my new "work assignment" to sit and wait with the Bishop as he showed me pictures of his grandchildren, and children and we talked about his difficulty with airlines routinely misplacing his bags. After a time, a local Bishop came into the office and they were discussing their frustration that Bishop Riah could not get a meeting with then President Bush, he had had one previously with President Clinton. Bishop Riah then asks me to dial the number for the Palestinian embassy . . . as if this was something I would do every day! LOL . . .so of course, I called for him, unfortunately no one was available so he could not reach his contacts there. We proceeded to spend a few hours calling all branches of the airlines searching for his luggage to no avail.

The office was getting dim as the day drew on and the Bishop grumbled, "IF I had a car I would drive to the airport and see for myself if it is not there!"
I blurted out, "I have a car."
"You would take me there?"
"After we eat dinner, if we still haven't heard from the airlines and you still want to go . . . Yes, I will take you."

As we entered into the dining hall we went our separate ways. It seemed natural to me that the Bishop would want to go and sit with the "Speakers" of the event or the other Priests, any of the other people who had been falling all over him. Much to my surprise, and the others in the hall, he came and sat across from myself and Teresa. I told her of the Bishops wish to go to the airport and we discussed that a more fruitful option may be to go to the local Target to pick up the necessities that he would need for the next few days. I asked a co-participant who was from the DC area if they knew how long it took to get to the airport and Target . . . he looked at me with complete horror and grumbled, "Why would you do that? You are here for a retreat not to take the Bishop around town and you will miss the Cathedral at night!" I looking equally as baffled and replied, "Because it is what I would want someone to do for me or for my family if we were in a strange country and I had no luggage." Next thing you know I am getting directions to the local Target and the Bishop is inviting me to walk with him as we go to get his wallet. As we come back into the foyer of this magnificent stone college via an elevator with a gated door, which is in and of itself straight out of the history books . . . in walks the Bishop of London, an old friend, of course. Bishop Riah says "We are off to Target, you must join us." Bishop L says, "Yes, of course." We all climb into my two door Saturn and off we go ~ two Bishop's and I in search of the necessities in life.

The Bishop's chattered away like two school boys reunited as we drove across town to the Target. As we are walking into the Target, which was inside a mall, there was a stand selling Olive Wood figurines from the Holy Land. It turned out that they were parishioners at the Bishops home church and were thrilled to talk to him, I bought a figure to memorialize what was turning out to be an evening beyond what I could have imagined when I signed up for the retreat!

Little did I know at that moment that it had only begun . . . after helping the bishop to pick essentials (can I just say that it wasn't until I was inside the Target that I was there to help a Bishop by his underwear!), and a shirt . . . and helping him, much as I would my own Father, with the Credit Card machine . . . we are in the car traveling back to the Cathedral when he says, "There is one more thing I need to ask you?"
"Yes?"
"Will you show me how to use the washer? I know how to iron and will do that bit but I don't know how to use the washer."
Laughing, "Yes, of course, I would be happy to."

As I sat in the basement of the Cathedral College with the Bishop talking about the most fascinating people he has met and his impressions of world leaders ~ I got to hear about Yasser Arafat, George Bush, Bill Clinton and so much more ~ it occurred to me that this, this moment was one that people would love to have and it had been granted to me, not because I was famous, or a person of political power but because I was willing to open my heart to the needs of another.

That night was one of the magical memories of my lifetime ~ sitting in a basement with a Bishop in his t-shirt and me curled up on a ratty old chair long since relegated to the basement listening, laughing with the Bishop, hearing his stories and him asking mine. As we finished his laundry the Bishop asked what I was going to do with what was left of my evening, I told him that I was heading to meet a few others to watch the meteor shower, he asked if he could join us for he had never seen a meteor shower . . . Yes! Of course!

Standing in the cold of December, arm in arm with the Bishop, I was struck yet again by the magic of the evening . . .

The next morning, we had our picture taken together and he brought me my breakfast . . . the looks of confusion of those at the event made me wish that I could explain to them ~ that the best gifts are those that are discovered when you do as Benedict wished for us to "follow with the ear of your heart."

Metta "Lovingkindness" Meditation

2010-11-27T21:09:00.000-05:00

I have been taking a course with Jan Lundy called Buddha Chick ~ we have discussed and brought attention to many wonderful lessons but the one that has been the most meaningful to me, and my family, has been the practice of Loving-kindness (Metta) Meditation.

One night on our drive home from an outing the kids asked me ~ "What are you learning in class, Mama?" I decided to explain Metta to them ~ I explained that we begin by praying for ourselves, then our benefactor/mentor, then a loved one, then a neutral person, then a person we have trouble relating to, and finally for all beings ~ and that Metta is meant to open our hearts to Love Our Neighbors as Ourselves and that I was really enjoying the practice. They asked if they could do it too? Of course!

The practice of Metta is simple in it's form you say the following prayer/meditation ~ focusing the energy of your thought, meditation, love, kindness starting at your center with yourself and moving outward to all beings.

The phrase as we say it is:

May I be safe
May I be healthy and strong
May I be happy
May I be peaceful and prosper

So began our family practice of Metta Meditation~ the kids get to take turns choosing who our meditations will focus on that day and I say a line and they repeat after me ~ the sound of their tiny voices in harmony truly makes my heart swell.

I asked the kids, a few weeks of practice, what is the hardest part of Metta to choose a person to pray for? The response I expected, and received, was "the one where we have to choose a person we are having trouble relating to". I asked, "Why they thought that was?"

"Because, Mama, there are so few people we have trouble getting on with."

The hearts of children, so pure and sweet ~ to return to it again and again through them is truly the gift of parenthood.

Your Creative Spirit Sings

2010-11-24T11:30:00.000-05:00

Do you know someone who might be interested in a Creativity Coaching opportunity ~ Please feel free to forward this information on to them.

Do you wish you had time and space in your life to relish in your Creative Spirit? Do you want to have your Creative Endeavors sing their songs to the world? Do you long to feel energized, joyful, and passionate about your life? Do you long for your work to feel like play?

“The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” — Alan Alda

I am a Kaizen Muse Creativity Coach, through Awareness, Reframing, Compassion, and Small Steps we can help you unleash the Muses in your own life to allow your Spirit to sing.

If you are interested in giving it a try ~ send me an email to musidoras@gmail.com

Life is a Banquet

2010-11-18T08:39:00.000-05:00

Auntie Mame ~ is about an eccentric lady who has her nephew suddenly come and live with her after his parents sudden passing ~ the message of the movie as we move through the ups and downs of their life in the wake of the Stock Market Crash is ~

LIVE!

Auntie Mame: Oh, Agnes! Here you've been taking my dictations for weeks and you haven't gotten the message of my book: live!
Agnes Gooch: Live?
Auntie Mame: Yes! Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!

I have LOVED that line since the first day I had it ~ it was the inspiration for the name of my first blog ~ and will probably be the name of a retreat that I lead one day soon . . . LIFE IS A BANQUET!!

Life is full of so many choices and treasures around us that it saddens me that many, too many, of us miss out on them because we become absorbed in what is the "goal", what will this do for me, or my all time favorite "we can't try that, this is the way it has always been done".

Now before you think for a minute that I believe I ALWAYS manage to remember to LIVE! let me just stop you before you fall of your chairs in rolls of laughter ~ although that would be good for the soul . . . .

Life is a Banquet ~

We can feast at the banquet every day in a multitude of ways, just ~

by being open to noticing moments of gratitude around us,
by listening to those around us with the ear of heart,
by trying new ways of thinking, feeling, responding,
by being compassionate,
by finding joy in the simple pleasures of life,
by exploring our own creativity,
by opening our hearts and minds to the possibilities that life offers us in each new breath.

My greatest hope for us all is that we remember to

LIVE!!

Veteran's Day Tribute

2010-11-09T10:19:00.000-05:00

Last year I put together a few words for the Memorial Day Tribute . . .I have updated it to reflect my current views . . . Thank you to all of the Soldiers who Serve AND thank you to ALL of the Families who sacrifice for those Soldiers to be able to serve.

"It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the organizer, who has given us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier, who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag." Fr. O'Brian, USMC

Faith is trusting in the unseen, the unknowable, the often improbable and being rewarded with grace

My father was a Marine who served in Vietnam, his father served in WWII, and his father before him served in WWI ~ I have been raised believing in the military and in the honor and nobility of the men/women who choose to risk their very lives for the rest of us . . . .

I am grateful to all of the men and women who put their lives on the line to allow us the luxury of living and raising our families in a beautiful country! And to all of their families and loved ones who must patiently wait at home and pray for the safe return, in body and spirit, of those soldiers that they love and cherish!

While I have always been grateful to the families of those that serve I have a much deeper appreciation of what they sacrifice as the wife of an Airman. Walt is due to deploy in January, to a "safe" deployment, for which I am very grateful, but he will still be away for 6 months. He will miss a litany of firsts . . . being our first year of marriage, our first anniversary among them. Moving through deployment with grace and love is my hope for the new year . . .

Believe . . .

2010-10-27T13:52:00.000-04:00

It is often hard for me to slip into the deep place of a guided imagery. I can enjoy the images, the quiet, the ideas but I rarely find myself achieving a state of openness that I find with meditation, or hiking.

On Monday I found myself in that space where the veil between self and other is thin.

The guided imagery was a common one ~ to be walking along a beach alone and to pick up a shell and on the other side would be the message that I needed ~ I expected to receive no such message ~ through no fault of the guide . . . . When

Suddenly, I was on the beaches of Samphire Hoe walking, I could hear the rocks rolling over one another, I could feel the breeze from the English Channel, I could smell the water, and I could see a purple rock that was mine.

As I picked it up I cold feel the weight of it in my hand, the edges worn smooth from countless waves rolling it back and forth,

and I slowly turned it over, there was but one word upon it ~

Believe!

I started to cry, to tear up ~ it was the message I needed most ~

to Believe in myself,

to Believe that if I love what I am doing it will work,

to Believe that I am enough ~

to simply

Believe!

Do what you love . . .

2010-10-13T12:35:00.000-04:00

Life has been full of changes the last few years, as it is wont to do. I find myself questioning where I want, need to go next. I have home-schooled my children for the last 7 years, providing them with a private education utilizing an amazing world-class curriculum K12; I know that I want to continue to provide that for them. I have given back to the community through work with the Boy Scouts, Library, Lion's Club, and the Episcopal Church. I have been blessed to be able to give so much to the community, I am however enjoying a reprieve from volunteer work.

I feel again like I am the 17-year-old girl sitting in Carl Gaffron's empty classroom whining "I don't know what to major in when I go to Bucknell!" Rubbing his hair and laughing at me, "It's easy girl do what you are good at and what you love."

My mind reals even today at that notion.

Do what you are good at! Can't I be "good" at anything I decide to do? Yes and No, my heart says, "you know that there are those times when you go back and read something that you've written, drawn, or designed and you think to yourself, I KNOW I made this but this is MORE than I am. Well, those, those are the moments you need to find."

What I love? At the time I had no idea what I loved. Now, I know that I love exploring the intricacies of faith, our paths, our creativity, our journeys; discovering new practices, new old ideas, new paths.

At Bucknell I had enough credits to get a degree in Religion but only if I was willing to give up the title BS of Chemistry and switch it to BA of Chemistry . . . not an option for me at that time. I still fondly remember sitting in those Religion Seminars with other Religion majors many of them bemoaning the reading list and me thinking how much fun it was going to be, reveling in the conversations and dialogue with the Professors, seeking, finding, questioning.

Back then I did follow my heart to a Religion major, it was just a fun hobby, because it wasn't lucrative. Now, I have found a program that I am drawn to a two-year Inter-spiritual Spiritual Counseling Course in NYC which can be completed as a combination of webinars and in person classes. The idea of taking it excites, energizes and fuels my creative spirit. But is that enough? What if I come out the other side and it can't pay for itself? What if?

"That's easy girl, do what you are good at and what you love."

Going within

2010-10-04T13:16:00.000-04:00

This weekend I took some time to go in . . . to notice where I was.

The morning was spent rushing about getting everyone geared up and ready to spend the day at the soccer fields with their Dad for a day of back to back soccer games; making sure shin-guards, cleats, sweat-shirts, water bottles, snacks and children were all present and accounted for.

By the time I dropped them off with their Dad my mind was racing in a hundred different directions, I was thinking of conversations from the weekends, innuendos made and their possible interpretations and what actions if any were then necessary, loved ones that are absent, conflicts from the week, will the dog get better or do I need to call the Vet, what will we have for dinner. . .

You do get the idea? A hundred different directions!

As I parked the car I decided to leave my blackberry in the car, if their was an emergency surely it could wait until I cam back. As I walked away from the car I had a moment's hesitation - what if something happened while I was walking and needed help, but I knew that I would not be able to resist taking a peek at it if I were to bring it with me. So I slowly walked away from the car and followed the path to the Labyrinth.

As I followed the trail my mind slowly stopped swirling, as I took a walk about to give my mind time to clear itself, to allow me to be in my own space.

As I continued walking I was able to notice a thought and let it go by promising I would deal with it soon but right now I needed to be present. I needed to breathe in the sweet crisp smell of Autumn leaves, and revel in their beauty.

I stopped to notice the caterpillars climbing among the leaves, wondering how big the world must seem to them. I noticed new brilliant white puff balls forming. I used the camera to focus, and to 'see' what was around me.

This stand of trees brought to mind the gathering of the Ents in the Lord of the Rings, or a Sacred Circle where the veil between the worlds may be thinner.

As my mind slowed I was ready to walk the Labyrinth . . . to move inward, so that I may give of myself outwardly.

As I walked inwardly I let my mind drift through where I had been . . .

I sat and meditated . . .

allowing the calm peace which passes all understanding

come and flow through me helping me to remember where my own being truly is

As I moved out slowly through the path

I thought of where I want to go next,

what I want the path before me to look like

To let my mind wander to the possibilities that are greater than the dreams I can dream for myself

To Breathe In . . . To Breathe Out . . .

To know what my own inner calm feels like, so that I may find it more easily amidst the chaos of everyday life.

Times they are a changin'

2010-10-01T14:46:00.000-04:00

Harrow-on-the-Hill, UK

I started writing this blog in April of 2007, back then it was entitled Life is a Banquet after my favourite movie quote of all time from Auntie Mame ~ "Life is a Banquet and most poor bastards are starving to death! Live! Live! Live!"

Along the way I picked an online name for myself, Lola, and the blog became Lola Wisdom. What to say about Lola, I am so very fond of everything she has done for me. . .she allowed me to be insightful, creative, and occasionally even brilliant. She gave me the ability to distance myself from what I was writing and to think of it as if it belonged to someone else. I love the person that Lola could be ~ thoughtful, introspective, creative, compassionate and so much more. Yes, yes I do realize that Lola was me but in some ways she allowed me to be more than I was comfortable being at the time.

This year has been full of discoveries, changes, and transformations. I am reveling in the growth and the changes. I am ready, willing, and excited to take "ownership" of all of the qualities that I have loved in Lola and to accept them as my own. I am excited to not have what's your name? be a trick question.

I am also preparing to launch a new 'business', Musidoras. . . I have been taking the Kaizen Muse Creativity Coaching Seminar and will soon be a Creativity Coach. I am hoping to be able to help people learn to discover the joy in the process and to help them to move through their creative blocks in all aspects of life to lead a more joyful and balanced life. I am hopeful that I will have both clients that are local and ones that may be geographically far away.

In that regard it is necessary for my online presence to continue to grow and change. I will be launching the new website for my business in the next few months, a home for my Coaching Business, Writing Ventures, Blogging, and anything else that the muses may grace me with . . . . but in the meantime I will be moving over to www.musidoras.wordpress.com from Google's blogger format as it gives me more flexibility in how I can present myself to all of you. I hope that if you have been following me on google that you will pop over to wordpress and sign in to receive email notification of a new blog post and to update your rss feeds/reader subscriptions.

I am excited about the new name Musidoras, gifts of the Muses . . . and I am looking forward to discovering what the muses have in the making for me to share with you!

Please stop over and leave a comment or two on the new page to let me know your thoughts. . . I look forward to seeing you at Musidoras! Cheers!

Autumnal Equinox

2010-09-23T12:32:00.000-04:00

Harrow-on-the-Hill, UK

I am the sun setting in the west.

I am the tree letting go of the leaves.

I am the harvest taken from the land.

I am the bird winging swiftly southward.

Spirit Keeper of the West,

I will enter into the heart of autumn.

I will bravely enter my transitions.

I will adapt to what needs changing.

I will freely let go and not hang on.

Come, Spirit of Autumn, and teach me!

Joyce Rupp, OSM

I found this quote yesterday at Awake is Good Blog by Jan Lundy

I have always found the fall season to be renewing.

A time when I savored the crisp smells,

the brilliant hues of red, orange, yellow dancing across the mountains

A time to nest into our home

dinners by candle light,

Halloween trees,

and spooky spiders

A time to come back to myself

to reflect inward for a season or two.

Remembering to cherish the knowledge

that I must take time to go in if I am to truly

be able to give to others.

I find that Joyce's words spoke to my soul

of where it needs to go this season.

Bravely entering my transitions . . .

we have so many

a boy entering his teens,

discerning what our new family will look like

and how we can bring happiness to both sides,

learning how to be a Creativity Coach

Adapting what needs changing . . .

budgets,

communication,

names

and so much more than I can even begin to recognize

change is always hard even when it is desired

I will freely let go and not hang on.

it is never easy for me to let go

Come, Spirit of Autumn, and teach me!

An adventure with Mimi . . . .

2010-09-14T13:55:00.002-04:00

It was a beautiful crisp autumn day when we all decided that we would ride with Mimi

down to Millmont to get some of the much heard about

David's "Awesome" Cookies

Mimi picked up her order and we all chose two cookies that we wanted to try.

I chose the triple chipper and a monster cookie

One bite and Mimi went back to purchase more

among our audible moans and groans of delight!

These really were, well,

AWESOME cookies.

We decided to round out our trip by heading further down the valley

and then head across to Rt. 192

to buy some delicious apples from

Macneal's Apples and Sugarbush

It has been years since I have traveled with Mimi

so when she said oh sure I know how to get you from 45 to 192 without driving to Mifflinburg

I believed her . . .

forgetting her navigational laissez-faire of the past

We turn down what starts as a paved road and turns into gravel and we come upon

a covered bridge!

The kids had never been across a covered bridge

They were nervous because of the wooden floor and the sign that said you can't be any taller than this

"Are we shorter than that Mom?"

"I don't know but we will find out!"

Squeals echoed through the car as we crossed over the bridge.

We proceeded to take lefts, rights,

and to make circles . . .

We saw our covered bridge again

Pix whimpered because she was lost and never going to find her way home again!

We reassured her that you are never really lost,

just misplaced.

And that we were on a grand adventure,

we had cookies, brothers, covered bridges, magnificent views and soon apples,

what more did we need?

When we were almost to our desired road we came across a beautiful pond.

Mimi and I both exclaimed how pretty and

we both noticed the "heron sculpture".

We were set to drive on when out of the corner of my eye

we spotted the Heron moving.

Pix exclaimed, "See not everything out of the corner of your eye is scary!"
We all said, "umm, what?"
Pix with disdain, "Doctor Who of course!"

She had just caught a fish.

We sat very still and marveled how amazing and graceful she was.

She slowly stepped about the edges of the pond,

first carrying her fish

and then swallowing it.

We sat and watched her for 15 or 20 minutes until she flew away.

All of us mesmerized by her calm and tranquil beauty.

We stopped at a few yard sales,

we bought apples,

and we ate more cookies

before we ended up back home.

Now, that was an excellent adventure.

I told you never . . .

2010-09-08T16:42:00.001-04:00

I told you never
I told you not forever
I told you always

~~~~~~~

Crisp autumn air filled our lungs
Leaves crunched under foot
Pines sang their ghostly tales
Milky way danced in your eyes

Day’s dramas unwound into darkness
Random thoughts spilled forth
Fears were banished to Never-land
Our souls came home to one another

~~~~~~~

I told you never
I told you not forever
I told you always

The Country of Marriage

2010-08-24T22:06:00.000-04:00

The Country of Marriage by Wendell Berry

I.

I dream of you walking at night along the streams
of the country of my birth, warm blooms and the nightsongs
of birds opening around you as you walk.
You are holding in your body the dark seed of my sleep.
II.
This comes after silence. Was it something I said
that bound me to you, some mere promise
or, worse, the fear of loneliness and death?
A man lost in the woods in the dark, I stood
still and said nothing. And then there rose in me,
like the earth's empowering brew rising
in root and branch, the words of a dream of you
I did not know I had dreamed. I was a wanderer
who feels the solace of his native land
under his feet again and moving in his blood.
I went on, blind and faithful. Where I stepped
my track was there to steady me. It was no abyss
that lay before me, but only the level ground.

III.

Sometimes our life reminds me
of a forest in which there is a graceful clearing
and in that opening a house,
an orchard and garden,
comfortable shades, and flowers
red and yellow in the sun, a pattern
made in the light for the light to return to.
The forest is mostly dark, its ways
to be made anew day after day, the dark
richer than the light and more blessed,
provided we stay brave
enough to keep on going in.
IV.
How many times have I come to you out of my head
with joy, if ever a man was,
for to approach you I have given up the light
and all directions. I come to you
lost, wholly trusting as a man who goes
into the forest unarmed. It is as though I descend
slowly earthward out of the air. I rest in peace
in you, when I arrive at last.

V.

Our bond is no little economy based on the exchange
of my love and work for yours, so much for so much
of an expendable fund. We don't know what its limits are--
that puts us in the dark. We are more together
than we know, how else could we keep on discovering
we are more together than we thought?
You are the known way leading always to the unknown,
and you are the known place to which the unknown is always
leading me back. More blessed in you than I know,
I possess nothing worthy to give you, nothing
not belittled by my saying that I possess it.
Even an hour of love is a moral predicament, a blessing
a man may be hard up to be worthy of. He can only
accept it, as a plant accepts from all the bounty of the light
enough to live, and then accepts the dark,
passing unencumbered back to the earth, as I
have fallen tine and again from the great strength
of my desire, helpless, into your arms.
VI.

What I am learning to give you is my death
to set you free of me, and me from myself
into the dark and the new light. Like the water
of a deep stream, love is always too much. We
did not make it. Though we drink till we burst
we cannot have it all, or want it all.
In its abundance it survives our thirst.
In the evening we come down to the shore
to drink our fill, and sleep, while it
flows through the regions of the dark.
It does not hold us, except we keep returning
to its rich waters thirsty. We enter,
willing to die, into the commonwealth of its joy.

VII.

I give you what is unbounded, passing from dark to dark,
containing darkness: a night of rain, an early morning.
I give you the life I have let live for the love of you:
a clump of orange-blooming weeds beside the road,
the young orchard waiting in the snow, our own life
that we have planted in the ground, as I
have planted mine in you. I give you my love for all
beautiful and honest women that you gather to yourself
again and again, and satisfy--and this poem,
no more mine than any man's who has loved a woman.

Lola gets married. . .

2010-08-24T21:56:00.001-04:00

It was dawn on a crisp clear morning,

a few friends gathered to start a new day

Lola, Tag, Joan, Bex, and Junior

Coffee, gloves and flowers in hand

Prayers to the four directions were offered

as we beckoned in new dreams

and hopes for a brighter dawning

Vows were exchanged

You cannot possess me for I belong to myself,

But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give

You cannot command me, for I am a free person,

But I shall serve you in those ways you require and

the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.

I pledge to you that yours will be the name

I cry aloud in the night and the eyes into which I smile in the morning.

I pledge to you the first bite of my meat and the first drink from my cup

I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care

I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine

I shall not slander you, nor you me

I shall honor you above all others, and

when we quarrel we shall do so in private and

tell no strangers our grievances

This is my wedding vow to you

This is the marriage of equals.

Blessings were read

Nothing happens without a cause.

The union of this man and this woman has not come about accidentally.

This tie can therefore not be broken or dissolved.

In the future, happy occasions will come as surely as the morning.

Difficult times will come as surely as night.

When things go joyously, meditate and think clearly.

When things go badly, meditate and think clearly.

Meditation on the applied wisdom of the sages leads to truths that will guide your life.

To say the words ‘love and compassion’ is easy,

but to accept that love and compassion

are built upon patience and perseverance is not easy.

Your marriage will be firm and lasting if you remember this.

Promises were sealed with a kiss

Trees were scaled to hang flags bearing hopes and dreams for the future

Friends laughed and cried

Junior wanted to be the flower girl

He seemed tickled right down to his toes to be getting so much attention

Penns View cast it's magic

The dawning of a new day . . .

new beginnings,

new hopes,

new possibilities

new dreams . . .

Luckily some things will stay the same,

Bex will still laugh at me,

Junior will still give me that look which cracks me up,

the kids will still be the joy of my life,

and Tag will be there to share it all with us. . . .

Thanks to everyone who made this gorgeous morning possible!!

It was perfect and the wedding I have always dreamed of having!!!

All my love ~ Lola

17 Again

2010-08-20T10:08:00.000-04:00

I am 17 again

Majestic pines whisper their wisdom
I struggle to understand the lessons they are giving me
They have observed so much as they stood sentient for the last 200 years

The musky smell of a raindrops dancing down the valley
Loosens the stranglehold on my heart
Slowly the rain begins to drum on my tin roof
Tapping out the relief that follows heartbreak
I drift to sleep safe in the arms of the rain and the dark

I wake to the cooing of the Mourning dove
Beckoning a new day of promise
The Eastern Rays of the Sun filling my room with hope

There but for the grace of God . . .

2010-08-17T08:52:00.000-04:00

There but for the Grace of God go I

Way back a lifetime ago when I was growing up . . .

Way back when there were rotary phones,

no computers,

and certainly no Facebook,

Way back when we all had to look at the person we were talking to,

or at the very least hear the person we were talking to

I was taught to be kind to others!

the little girl in class that had special learning issues,

the little girl who had physical disabilities,

the large,

the small,

the rich,

the poor . . . .

Others did not just mean those that fit into my very limited small town world view.

I still remember the dinner conversation where someone made reference to my black friend

and I INSISTED that she was not!

Indeed she was,

but all I could see was that she was my friend;

the girl I laughed with,

ran home from school with,

went to her house to sleep over,

I couldn't imagine why she was being referred to by a color.

Why is it that I see so many purportedly grown ups

that are so anxious to disparage others that are different from them.

I realize we are all prone to cast a sideways glance at others

that are wearing something we wouldn't choose to wear,

eating food we do not recognize,

or just don't fit into our image of the way the world should look.

But I was taught that before you cast stones . . .

you should remember two things

1) There but for the Grace of God go I

2) You cannot know the life they lead until you have walked a mile in their shoes

I still believe that those lessons serve us well,

for how we can we love ourselves if we are not also loving others.

A real live independent bookstore . . .

2010-08-11T17:33:00.001-04:00

Full Circle Bookstore in Oklahoma City is the largest independent bookstore in Oklahoma.

We stumbled upon it by accident on our way to Penn Square Mall . . .

where I did find some beautiful Karma and Faith beads to wear with my meditation beads . . .

I believe that the karma beads are already paying dividends.

As soon as we walked through the doors

Tag said . . . "Now this smells like a bookstore"

Is there really anything better than the smell of books?

A bookstore full of independent books

not just the NY Times Best Seller list books

Rolling ladders in all of the rooms

for their gorgeous Oak book shelves

(to say that I coveted these floor to ceiling shelves and ladders is probably an understatement!!)

Unique shelves even in the middle of the room

This sign is posted as we headed into the Children's room . . .

First, I LOVE LOVE the art of Maurice Sendak

Second, A rolling red ladder in the kids room . . .you had me at hello

Plenty of seats to stop enjoy a cup of complimentary coffee and enjoy browsing a book

a pastry from the cafe

this cow just cracked me up! so whimsical . . .

Tag's favourite find was of course about golfing . . .

I managed to winnow my choices down to three to bring home with me today . . .

The Aspiring Poet's Journal

It looks like it will be perfect to add to our literature classes with all of the kids this fall.

Since my kids are fortunate enough to receive a private education at home they have yet to learn that poetry is scary and evil. They just think it is a really cool way to express your self!!

Zoland Poetry

Poetry translated and gathered from all around the world.

The Poet's Companion

Yep! Poetry and writing were very much on my mind today.

The one that didn't make it home with me (yet)

was Adventure Divas

the title is haunting me . . .so we may have to travel back

(as if an excuse was needed!)

As if I wasn't enough in love with this book store

when we went to depart the store through the mall

I discovered Pearl the Buffalo

She is magnificent!

You can read more about Pearl and her creators at the Full Circle Bookstore Website

I am thinking we will have to go and visit with Pearl one more time before I depart the South. . . .

Tangled locks

2010-08-05T11:12:00.000-04:00

Tangled auburn locks shroud your face
Your shoulders collapse around you
Pain thick through the cabin

Delicate fingers trace invisible words across the page
Your face lites up as I offer you a rainbow assortment of pens
Quickly you withdraw back into your shell

Purple ink forms the curvy letters of girlhood
Words tumble with tears onto the page
Suffering between youth and adulthood rage

You rail of a double life one good, one bad
What could such a young girl have done so wrong
Sidelong I read it was sex

Memories unbidden march forth
remembering the longing to lie in my lover’s arms
remembering the shame and fear for having lain there

Unable to allow you to suffer alone I ask where you are traveling?
You say you are going to become an adult
I chuckle, oh honey I know so very few of those!

Voice choked you hand me the journal
Quietly I read then look deep in your eyes
I brake the taboos! I tell you we all have sex!

You clutch my hand hoping I am telling you the truth
Your eyes searching for validation
that you could yet be a good person

We talk of wanting to do it again
of the importance of seeking out protection
The mature thing is to be safe

I channel my mother and give you my email address
I tell you to please write if you need to talk
I will think of you often

We start off the plane
You turn and look at me through tangled auburn locks with tear filled eyes
We exclaim together

New beginnings!

It may not look like much . . .

2010-08-02T15:15:00.000-04:00

It may not look like much but for me it was an "Aha" moment . . .

My mom was telling me about this house in the mountains that was turning over owners.

She raved about the potential of the house.

She gushed about the Mimosa.

I said interesting Mom I will have to stop and take a look.

(really just to appease her)

You see I have just spent the last two years having my house go from this

to this

And I am rather enjoying having my house more finished,

although there are always projects to be done,

new holes to be fixed.

I have said that I don't want to move again.

This is the first house/apartment that I have stayed in for more than 3 years

since I was a child.

I am enjoying the roots.

I am also enjoying not having to pack up and move all of my books.

BUT . . . .

You see when I went to see the house in the mountains

I walked in the yard,

I listened to the stream running through the back,

I heard the birds crying through the woods,

the squirrels playing,

and then I saw the mimosa. . . .

AND . . .

I suddenly remembered that I love the idea of living in the mountains.

I love my friends home, Bright Angel Cottage,

a screened in porch, a meditation garden surrounded

by ferns, pines, rock piles, and oak trees.

I realized that I was free to dream new dreams.

This house is most likely not in my immediate future . . .

but then again one never knows!

Asian Caravan

2010-08-02T08:12:00.002-04:00

taken by Jeffrey Miller

Yesterday The Camel Saloon announced the debut of its Asian Caravan

The images are breathtaking

and so worth a stroll.

Thank you to both Russell Streur and Jeffrey Miller for sharing this amazing journey!!

Be sure to scroll to the bottom of the page past the photos to read about each of the photos and this amazing artist.

And if you loved Jeffrey's work and want to read and see more
his blog is
Stopping to Smell the Roses

Enjoy! ~ Lola

The Camel Saloon is delighted today to publish a series of beautiful photographs taken by our friend, Jeffrey Miller. In the photographs, Jeffrey shares with the Saloon's patrons his views of castles, temples, landscapes and other scenes from Laos, Japan, South Korea, Thailand and Cambodia. The link to the photographs can be found on the Saloonica tab on the Saloon main page under the title Asian Caravan: Photographs by Jeffrey Miller, or can be directly found here: http://camelsaloonasia.blogspot.com/

A commentary on the photographs by Jeffrey and an interview of him by Christi Caceres Kochifos can also be found on the exhibition.

I invite all of you to come visit and see Jeffrey's beautiful work. Jeffrey can be contacted at sparksjam@gmail.com/.

Sincerely,

Russell Streur

Barkeep

Vanishing memories . . .

2010-07-31T20:33:00.001-04:00

Old Hotel at Wolfs Store, PA

They are tearing down an old hotel
in a town that now
barely even resembles the name town,
Wolfs Store, PA.
It is a group of about 10 houses
and a church.

This hotel once saw the glory days.
You can still catch a glimpse of them if you look closely
at the insides of this structure . . .
beautiful old printed wall papers,
a majestic wrapping staircase
that wraps from the first floor to the fourth.

As I looked at the curve of the railing
my mind raced to the thousands of hands that had run across it,
the bustles that had been pressed against it in a moment of passion
and the children (and adults)
who had wanted to start at the top and ride it the whole way to the bottom!

I am saddened by it's passing.
I hope that the railing is finding a new home.
Of course, I also always hope that Gone with the Wind will end differently.

I sometimes wish houses could talk . . .
the stories they could tell!!

Bubbling up . . .

2010-07-31T20:19:00.000-04:00

Months and months ago I decided that this training,

Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coach Training,

I stumbled

upon would be an interesting

new addition to my marketable skills

and perhaps be good therapy for me along the way.

It proclaims to give you tools to deal with

"overwhelming, disabling perfectionism, lack of focus, fears, procrastination, low self-confidence, unsatisfying habits, difficulty making time, negative self-talk."

I don't know about you but none of that sounds familiar to me, you?

(um, yeah well maybe just a little!)

I was excited . . .

I paid for the course,

I bought the books,

I read everything online . . .

Still it was 3 months away

and frankly

life has been a wee bit hectic around here lately.

(just a wee bit ~ think home-schooling 3 kids, 3 dogs, divorce, re-marriage)

I remembered the course

I swear I did

(I never forgot you!)

yet thought of it as this distant event in the future.

Then last week I got a brilliant Ticket

to the course from the director.

I joined the yahoo group,

found the book I was to read

and still it felt like it was weeks away.

And then today

I had a package on my porch

an unexpected present.

A gift from the Kaizen Muse!

I am so excited!!

The Camel Saloon . . .

2010-07-21T08:27:00.002-04:00

In a drastic effort to become my favourite barkeep Russell Streur has graciously published me on his brilliant LiteraryZine The Camel Saloon. He published not only my most recent rambling poem but several of my photographs as well . . . please stop by and see not only my work but that of many other talented artists.

To share an excerpt of Russell's words on the publications:

"In baseball, it's called: hitting for the cycle. That is when a batter singles, doubles, triples and homers in the same game. I'll call it the same at the Saloon, hitting for the cycle, because I've posted you at the Saloon for your poem, at the Gallery for RBW State Park, on the Postcards Page for Penns View, and as a Kindred Spirit. That's 4 for 4, and a first for the bar, and duly noted in the history of the joint. How about that for business?

Here are the links to your work:

http://thecamelsaloon.blogspot.com/2010/07/wounded-and-in-need-of-protection-you.html

http://camelsaloongallery.blogspot.com/search/label/Carmen%20Schreffler

http://camelsaloonpostcards.blogspot.com/search/label/Carmen%20Schreffler

Kindred Spirits and the history of the joint can be found on the links in the right hand column of the blog."

Thank you Russell for being my favourite barkeep!

Go and visit the Camel Saloon! Grab a drink and have a listen to the great yarns being spun.

The Camel Saloon . . .

2010-07-21T08:27:00.001-04:00

"In baseball, it's called: hitting for the cycle. That is when a batter singles, doubles, triples and homers in the same game. I'll call it the same at the Saloon, hitting for the cycle, because I've posted you at the Saloon for your poem, at the Gallery for RBW State Park, on the Postcards Page for Penns View, and as a Kindred Spirit. That's 4 for 4, and a first for the bar, and duly noted in the history of the joint. How about that for business?

Here are the links to your work:

http://thecamelsaloon.blogspot.com/2010/07/wounded-and-in-need-of-protection-you.html

http://camelsaloongallery.blogspot.com/search/label/Carmen%20Schreffler

http://camelsaloonpostcards.blogspot.com/search/label/Carmen%20Schreffler

Kindred Spirits and the history of the joint can be found on the links in the right hand column of the blog."

Thank you Russell for being my favourite barkeep!

Go and visit the Camel Saloon! Grab a drink and have a listen to the great yarns being spun.

Nothing in Return . . .

2010-07-20T16:59:00.002-04:00

The labyrinths on Karelian part of the White Sea was made by proto Lappish breeds at the end of the I b.c. According to Irish and English ancient legends the fairies danced on labyrinth spirals in the moonlight; in accordance to Norwegian popular beliefs stone rows made by ice-giants; by Swedish tales labyrinths mark the enters into underground palaces. Most of modern researches consider labyrinths as religious structures. *courtesy of http://heninen.net/labyrinth/english.htm

Wounded and in need of protection you stumbled into my garden.

Your wounds raw and in need of healing.

I tended to them and watched as you grew stronger day by day.

I outwardly asked for nothing in return.

I dreamed a thousand dreams for you.

I learned to read your moods, your growls, and your eyes.

I watched as you stumbled and got back up again.

I resolved to let you dream your own dreams.

Wounded and in need of protection you returned to my garden.

Your wounds once again raw and in need of healing.

I tended to them and watched as you grew stronger day by day.

Still I asked for nothing in return.

You gave me love, support and friendship.

You gave me laughter when all I had were tears.

You gave me . . .

you.

I dream a thousand dreams for you.

You dream of a road I cannot see.

I resolve to let you dream your own dreams.

Live, Laugh, Love . . .

2010-07-20T14:08:00.000-04:00

Poe Mountain

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."

******

"There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts."

— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia)

I think it seems "easier" to believe that we have no choices

that we are dealt the hand we are given

and that we are helpless under our own circumstances

that is all up to fate and out of our influence. . .

And yet for me that approach to life feels very heavy . . .

For me knowing that I can choose

to strive towards a goal,

to change who I am

to discover what I am

to create who I am to become

to influence where I can

and to be influenced by others and

learn from my mistakes

lightens the struggles of the path that is life . . .

******

Soul Mates . . .

you meet them they come into your life

100 miles an hour

they feel as if they have always been there

that you would be lost without them

We cannot choose who they will be

When they will arrive

What they will show us

What will show them

We cannot choose when they will leave us

We can choose

to relish the moments

we are granted

the joyous and the painful

to examine the images they present to us

We can choose to allow them to be

with us as long as they are

and we can choose to allow them to go

when they need to go

Love,

Live,

Laugh!

And try like HELL not to see the same mistakes in the mirror again!!

Rumi

2010-07-15T09:29:00.001-04:00

This morning Rumi speaks to my soul ~ here are a few of the verses he is singing ~ Enjoy!

~~~

Your task is not to seek for love,

but merely to seek and find all the barriers

within yourself that you have built against it.

~~~

We rarely hear the inward music, but we're all dancing to it nevertheless.

Only from the heart can you touch the sky.

No mirror ever became iron again;

No bread ever became wheat;

No ripened grape ever became sour fruit.

Mature yourself and be secure from a change for the worse.

Become the light.

Conventional opinion is the ruin of our souls.

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whomever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

Wisdom of the ages . . .

2010-06-18T16:30:00.002-04:00

"You can't live your life in fear Bro! That is no way to live a life!!"

Maclean to Seamus

RB Winter State Park

"Now this, this smells like Nature" by Seamus

(I know that I wish that I could capture that smell . . . pine, moisture, decay, cool air! It is heaven on Earth!)

Joan Chittister Again . . .

2010-06-14T13:40:00.001-04:00

I know . . . I know . . . I have said hundreds of times before . . . BUT I LOVE LOVE Joan Chittister . . . she cuts directly to the heart of the matter and always focuses on Love . . . .

Joan's moment of Zen . . .

Thoughts Matter
At no time of day or night are we not thinking about something. The only real question is, What is it? What do I choose to ruminate about in the interstices of the day, in the dark quiet of the night? Where does my mind go when there is nowhere specific defined for it to go?

The question is an important one because its answer defines the kind of person we are choosing to become. If we scheme dark thoughts, however placid and positive we appear to others, we are darkness walking. “He was a pleasant man,” people say of the felon next to whom they have lived for years. He dressed well, and went to work every day, and nodded to the neighbors. But in his heart the malice simmered and seared.

The fact is that we become what we think about. What we seed in our souls grows in us, forms us, becomes what drives us from moment to moment.

What we think about during the waking hours of the day is basic to prayer. And prayer is also basic to it. What I put into my soul will shape me.

Prayer intends to steep me in the thoughts of God, in the sense of the presence of God, in an openness to the will of God, in the likeness of God. To pray is to rivet my mind on the things of God. “As you sweep,” our novice mistress taught us, “pray. Just say any short prayer over and over,” she said. “Eventually it will become part of you.” She forgot to say that eventually you will become it, as well.

And in the same way, I become jealousy. And greed. And lust. And hate. It all depends on what I feed on, what I live on, in my thoughts. What I immerse myself in, down deep inside of me where the soul of a person lies in wait, I will become.

But if I put in the discipline of the presence of God, I will become of God.
If I put in prayer for my enemies, if I pray to a loving God to make me loving, too, then—however many years it takes — it will happen. Then, like a drop of rain in the midst of a flood, I will become part of the heart of the world.

I must pray to become love.

–from The Breath of the Soul by Joan Chittister (Twenty-Third Publications)

Dance in the Moonlight

2010-06-10T12:12:00.002-04:00

We dance toward possibility,

Breath of longing upon my cheek

Souls yearning to be free,

Our spirits flying into the night

Moonlight dancing through the trees,

full of laughter and love

Spirits set free

Even as we part.

2010-06-01T10:07:00.000-04:00

If There Is Something to Desire, 9, 17, 18
by Vera Pavlova

9

I broke your heart.
Now barefoot I tread
on shards.

17

Why is the word yes so brief?
It should be
the longest,
the hardest,
so that you could not decide in an instant to say it,
so that upon reflection you could stop
in the middle of saying it.

18

—Sing me The Song of Songs.
—Don't know the words.
—Then sing the notes.
—Don't know the notes.
—Then simply hum.
—Forgot the tune.
—Then press my ear
to your ear
and sing what you hear.

Life in the midst of it all . . .

2010-06-01T09:40:00.000-04:00

Life between a rock and a hard place . . .

A reminder to keep living, enjoying, and seeking
even when it all seems too difficult.

Journeying . . . .

2010-05-24T22:39:00.000-04:00

In 2008 we had the amazing opportunity to travel to Europe ~ we explored many parts of the United Kingdom and Paris, France ~ we learned and enjoyed so much! It is hard to believe that we have been home from Europe for a year and a half at this point . . . it still creeps in to so much of our conversations and lives. . . the food, Charlie and Lola Magazines, the fashion accessories (Pix loves her clothes and bags from London . . . note just Pix, well perhaps I do as well!)

The Writing Muses have been silent of late ~ I thought perhaps that they had fled for greener pastures but I think now that they were just waiting patiently for me to be ready to share our adventures again.

My blog, my stories, poems, and art have always been very organic, very close to who and where I am at that moment. Lately, where I have been has been a bit of a jumble . . . to say the very least.

I have been trying to delicately weave our old life in to a new one.

As those of you who know me in "real" life know Mr. England stayed in London when we returned to the US in 2009, while we returned here, to Witch Duck house in the Valley.

Recently, we decided that it would be best for all involved if we made our separation official, and divorced. Divorce is never an easy journey but it is one that we have been winding our way through trying to remain friends that we once were and to find a path that is best for our three beautiful children that we share. Somehow it seemed as if it was dishonest or trivializing if I continued to post about

how exciting 4 yards of mulch and renewed flower beds were this spring,

how soccer season is progressing,

or how the dogs are crazy. . .

BUT then today I realized that it wasn't trivializing it at all ~

IF anything it is honoring the fact that

LIFE is a BANQUET!!

A banquet that has the dishes we LOVE

AND the dishes we do not care for so much

that our Mother's always made us try!

Even amidst the jumble, the chaos

I continue to find my Zen,

my center,

my happy place

Life is a BANQUET

I am thankful for the many roads that Mr.England and I have traveled together

They have taken us many places both near and far

They have brought us three beautiful children

And the wisdom of a journey well traveled

I am looking forward to the Journey ahead . . . .

whatever it may bring.

Life is the Journey and the Journey's End . . .

Blessings ~ Lola

Musidoras

Musing your Way Home

Peeling back the layers . . .

What is your verb?

Guarding your time . . .

Fighting Dragons and Souls Singing!

Aha - Moments . . . .

The rest of the story . . .

Gypsy Spirit

Week of Inward Looking #1 and #2

Where do I want to go?

Magic . . .

Collecting Small Stones

Modern Day Muses

9 Modern Day Muses& a Bodyguard

Savoring Life . . .

Soul Care For the Holidays

Soul Care For the HolidaysMini-Retreat

Saturday, December 3rd1 to 5 pm

Aaronsburg, PA$50

Contact Carmen to Register ~ musidoras@gmail.com or call 814.404.6755Payments ~ cash or PayPal

Europe vs. America

Walk with You

Plans we cannot see . . .

Unleash your Creative Brilliance

Creatin’ with the Muses ~ Unleash your Creative Brilliance

Create a Muse Journal

Creatin' with the Muses Workshop:Comfort Journal

Creatin’ with the Muses ~ Comfort Journal

A Comfort Journal can come in all shapes and sizes ~

Come dressed to play! laugh! and have some fun!

More on Choices from Greece . . .

Choices

Silence

Days are long, Life is Short

15 minutes to Live

Mary Oliver and Shadows

Kaizen-Muse Bodyguard

Creatin' with the Muses

Creatin’ with the Muses ~ Unleash your Creative Brilliance

Life's Synchronicities

Lola looks in . . .

One Word

Auras at the Bar

Lizard Breath vs. Flo

Dancing in the Moonlight

Lace Curtains on Patrol

Three little turtles . . .

Chubby Little Angel . . .

Spring . . .

Lizard Breath

More than one way to crack an egg . . .

Inspiration sneaks in . . .

Soul of a Witch

The Devil, A Long Spoon, and a Serious Error in Judgement

Poetsdemocracy

Shifting Ground

2011 New Year's Resolutions

Baloo

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

Gossamer Threads

Unspoken Beauty

Be Brave

An evening of magic . . .

Metta "Lovingkindness" Meditation

Your Creative Spirit Sings

Life is a Banquet

LIVE!

Life is a Banquet ~

LIVE!!

Veteran's Day Tribute

Believe . . .

Do what you love . . .

Going within

Times they are a changin'

Autumnal Equinox

An adventure with Mimi . . . .

I told you never . . .

The Country of Marriage

Lola gets married. . .

9 Modern Day Muses
& a Bodyguard

Soul Care For the Holidays
Mini-Retreat

Saturday, December 3rd
1 to 5 pm

Aaronsburg, PA
$50

Contact Carmen to Register ~ musidoras@gmail.com or call 814.404.6755
Payments ~ cash or PayPal

Creatin' with the Muses Workshop:
Comfort Journal